She never replied…now you’re wondering how to text women?
It seemed like you really hit it off when you met.
She was smiling, flirting, and enthusiastic.
Then...nothing. No reply. She ghosted you.
You messaged her expecting she'd get right back to you, but hours passed.
Then days, and she didn't even bother to say “Hi” back.
Walk up to any woman, get a date. I’ll show you how. Click here to learn more.
Texting can be a powerful tool to set up a date, but it’s also where many guys go wrong.
You may have had a great conversation, exchanged numbers, and even bantered back and forth.
Everything seemed fine—until she stopped responding or hit you with the dreaded “I’m busy.”
I’ve messaged countless women with very little luck. The ones that do reply back end up messaging 3-5 times, but when I try to set up a date the text msg gets cold.
If you’ve ever been in this situation, don’t worry.
There’s a way to get more girls to reply and actually meet up in person. In this guide, we’ll cover:
Keep reading to master the art of texting and start getting more dates today.
That feeling of excitement from meeting someone new quickly turns into disappointment when your text chat goes cold. Even worse is when she doesn’t even bother to reply.
You may have done everything right, yet she still ghosted you. The reality is, attractive women get asked out all the time. If you don’t stand out, another guy will take her attention.
Getting a girl to respond often boils down to avoiding common mistakes that kill attraction. If you’re guilty of the following, it’s time to adjust your approach:
Texting isn’t about impressing her—it’s about getting her to meet you in person. If you wait too long to set up a date, she’ll cool off and move on. Keep it simple and direct.
A good example: "Hey Sarah, it was nice chatting with you earlier. Let’s grab a coffee this week. Are you free Thursday or Friday?"
Some guys believe they can change a girl’s mind with the right texts. But here’s the truth: 90% of communication that creates attraction is missing when you text. No body language, no eye contact, no voice tonality.
If she wasn’t interested when you met, no text will change her mind. If you did a good job on your approach, or when you met her at the party etc. then she is already interested in meeting you, so now you just have to set up the date.
Attraction isn’t created with pixels on a phone—it happens in person.
There’s only one reason to text a girl: to set up a date.
Avoid overcomplicating things with “texting strategies” or long conversations. Once you have her number, your goal should be to meet up in person.
Women are drawn to men who are direct and confident. Your texts should be short, to the point, and move towards setting up a date quickly.
I don't really recommend "keeping a text conversation going" but this can help if you want to chat. Same for the rest of the advice in this section.
Wikipedia has a popular post about texting and most of it is terrible. I'll update this later with more, but in the meantime here is one thing you should NEVER do that they suggest.
Keep it simple. Get to the point. Set up a date. Be assertive but not too serious. Confirm the day before to avoid no-shows. Use proper grammar.
No. Texting daily looks needy. If she texts first, engage, but keep it light. Mix in a phone call if needed. Set up the date, then step back.
If she says she's not interested, gives one-word replies, or takes days to respond—stop. Recognize disinterest and move on.
Stay cool. Treat her like any other girl. Only text to set up dates. Don’t overshare or send needy messages. Show interest in person, not over text.
"Hey" is boring. Get to the point. Ask her out directly and see if she’s interested. Gauge her response—if she’s lukewarm, she’s probably not into you.
Not through texting. Build attraction in person: strong eye contact, confidence, focused conversation, short dates, and making a move. Less texting, more real-life interaction.
She won’t miss you unless she likes you. Build a great life, stay busy, and don’t chase. Confidence is key—be direct, set plans, and lead.
Only when necessary. Text to set dates. After a first date, wait a day or two before reaching out. Let her initiate if she wants to chat.
Same as anyone else. Keep it simple. Don’t over-text. Ask her out for coffee or a drink. Focus on in-person connection.
Be direct: "Hey [name], I’m free this weekend, let’s grab a drink." No cheesy jokes. Keep it confident and clear.
Outdated. Waiting makes you forgettable. Message her within hours or the next day to set up a date.
Don’t try. Confidence and independence are attractive. Let her prove herself to you, not the other way around.
No. Waiting too long makes you forgettable. Message confidently to set up a date—just don’t flood her inbox.
Keep it direct: "Had a great time meeting you. When are you free for coffee?" Avoid weak phrases like "Would you like to?"—be assertive.
Walk away. Reply with: "I’m not interested in just being friends. Let me know if you change your mind." Don’t settle for less.
Initiate with something specific from her profile, then ask when she’s free. Online chemistry doesn’t mean much—meet in person fast.
Wait a couple of days. If no response, send a simple "?" and move on if she stays silent. Don’t overthink it—plenty of other women out there.
Texting is just a tool to get a girl to meet you in person. The sooner you understand this, the more success you’ll have. Keep your messages short, direct, and always aim to set up a date. Now go out there and start texting with confidence!
its very nice article about women messages
Got a girl to put her number in my phone at her work.
Exchanged my number letting her know it was me(per her instructions).
She texts "hey" 1hr 30 min later.
I respond an 1hr 40 min later: "hey lets hang out, when are you free" about 2 hrs later.
Havent gotten a response.
I take it I shouldn't go near her work (store I regularly buy supplies)or text her again. What do you think Eddy?
As a background , everytime I would go into this store she stares extremely hard at me(3-5 seconds, and always smiles) so I finally just asked her for number lol.
No, keep going to the store, and don't act any different. Just don't go for her but get your supplies. Follow up with her and just send a question mark. Next time, specify a time frame, for example, "Let's get together at the end of the week, which day is good for you". It's more specific which is better as a CTA (cal to action). Also specify what you want to do (drink, coffee etc.) Let me know if she responds.
How do i respond to a message when the girl is texting says jus chillin
Hey Jim, there's no context to this question. Chances are you didn't write anything worth responding too, like a question about what she's doing. If that's the case, ask her out instead of sending messages which go nowhere.
Great article about text messaging women!
Glad you liked it.
Awesome guide ?. Thank you Eddy! ?
You're welcome.
hey Eddy can you help me for a good words to bring my woman back to me she it silver she luss a trust with me and don't really want to reply back my text
There's not a lot you can do by text in this case. If a woman isn't replying it's pretty much a lost cause. The big question is why did she lose trust? That's the issue you need to deal with.
Hi eddy, nice post. I have dated only one girl and no other in my life. She is also gone. Now i have tried to message girls on facebook with hi, those are random girls. I send requests to so many girls at once, only few accept the requeat and ong them only a few rrply to my hi.
Is it my profile pic or my likes on fb, that affects there response. I frel broken by that, i am not getting to talk with girls,
I am introvert and i want girls in my life so badly...
Stop messaging girls on Facebook. That's the real problem. You need to learn how to meet women in public, start conversations. Being an introvert isn't an excuse.
Nobody is going to respond to "hi". It's not engaging or interesting, and even if you sent an 'interesting' msg on Facebook it will most likely be ignored. Start working on social skills.
Nice Post! Maybe you can help me. I met a girl a few weeks ago at a work event who instantly showed interest, but drove home after it.
The problem is, the event was short and she lives 6h away from me. Still, I really liked her, started texting and set up a date immediately.
I was already planing a short trip to a neighboring big city near her home, so it wasn't a problem.
But now we have to wait more than a month to see each other. Texting is ok, but most of the time I start a new conversation. Should I rarely text and wait for her to initiate? Keep initiating? Or completely stop until we meet up unless she replies?
Hey Zen, although it seemed like a great connection, there are plenty more where that come from. The best thing you could do is meet other women.
You don't have to give up completely on this one, but the odds are low considering your distance. The fact that she doesn't initiate conversations says a lot too. If you keep texting her it will most likely push her away.
I'd only text her if you're setting up a date or if she sends you a message first. In the meantime, meet more women. Having only one option creates neediness.
Here's another way to meet women:
The online question is too complicated to answer effectively here. Your photos may not be good, your profile may not catch attention, or your messages may not be good. If anything is off it could wreck your chances of getting dates. Another factor is proper spelling and grammar.
If your fear is running out of things to say it's the same thing as fearing rejection. You can't run out of things to say if you don't care what she thinks about what you're saying.
Good on you for making the effort and chatting those girls up. I can't really say what went wrong without having been there. Most likely you guys kept the whole conversation very platonic, physically and verbally.
Hi, I am Ron I met you at you last meet up event. I have tried the internet dating site plenty of fish with very little luck. I have msged countless women with very little luck. However the once that do reply back end up giving me there number within 3 to 5 msg. But when I try to set up a date the text msg gets cold. I also ended up getting a date from the site and in my head it went pretty well with some set backs and my date also assured me that she had a great time and that she would really wanna go out with me again. So I msged her the same night thank her for the date. To that her response was I had a great time see u soon. But the next time wen I tried to set something up she went cold and the she responded sorry I was sick didn't see ur text. I asked if she okay and she said I am good now. After that she went cold. So I took it as a sgin that she is not interested and deleted her number. Reading ur article did help answer some of my question and I do tend to beta around wen text which stop now.
Also do you have any tips for a first timer cold approach guy. My fear is not rejection but running out of things to talk about. I took ur advice on voicing out things when in a line up and it worked like a charm. Me and my friend where getting pizza after clubbing so we started talking what we want to get and this two girls that where in front of us joined our conversation and asked us they could sit with us when there was 3 table empty. But the conversation when all over the place and next thing know I got a nice to meet u both.
Thank You.
Good stuff , Eddy , you certainly straightened out my text ( lack of ) game. I certainly used to send long messages , tell her about my dream last night ( with her in it ). "Don't call me any more , you're weirding me out" , was her call back. Little romance via text , would be the call to order , as you teach. As examplified in previous example.
Thank you , Eddy , I'm not weird any more.
Well I'm a woman and I've just rejected a guy because precisely, his texts were too short and dry (it was a long distance thing so the texting part was important). I'm always delighted when a man tries to catch my attention with some written stuff. It's all about balance. Don't tell your whole life, sure, but be warm
If that's your only communication with no chance for face to face meetings then it's going to be important, but the focus of this post is what to do (for men) with someone you just met.
It's also different when the woman sends a message. I'll chat when that happens. It's a different dynamic however if the guy is reaching out for a conversation. Better to save that for the date.
Yes, being warm is always good.
What's good Eddie? So I have this problem. I reconnected with a girl that I went on a date with almost 2 years ago. The initial date went really well you went out to dinner later on before dropping her off at her house we made out for I think an hour. Something happened and we stopped messaging each other for whatever reason I think she didn't reply back to me once and then I just said fuck it. So I reconnected with her on Facebook. So I chatted her up and got her on Snapchat. Then we went on a date at a restaurant and a drive-in movie theater. Everything went well I brought along wine and mint chocolate brownie cookies. I convinced her to go in the backseat with me where I had pillows and a blanket. We stayed at that Drive-In for like 4 hours making out and without getting graphic oral just for her not me. Was pretty passionate to say the least. Now my problem is the next day I messaged her at 1pm. I simply asked "How did you sleep?" the trail went cold after that. No reply nothing all day we're also connected on FB messenger so about two hours later I simply asked how is your day so far? The message was never read. Now I'm on the next day I have coincided with myself to not message her at all today. My plan of action for tomorrow is to Messenger with a funny or teasing text of some sort to grab her attention. My question is should I wait longer then a day in a half because I plan on messaging at about 8 p.m. since the three-day rule is very outdated I thought I was doing well by at least waiting till the next afternoon to show some general concern on how she slept because I kept her out late. Could that have been my cardinal sin was it the :-* that sealed my fate. What could have possibly led to this type of reaction. We did not even go the farthest step which would have been intercourse.
hello Eddie, I have a big story here But I'll try to summarize it, Last august I met girl from belarus in an hotel, I did talk to her and she was clearly intrested ,she gave me her phone number without I tell her, then after that great night it was my last time in the hotel, I left and she stayed 3 days work there and she came back to her country, we are so long distance,I tried to call and text after that, but she took her first from 3 days to 6 days to respond in English and her English is so bad by the way, I told her I'll come to Belarus she said "it's a good idea to come have your paycheck and come", but she took long time to reply on me ( messages not seen until I ping again with another one).... last update: after 1 and half months I pinged her again and she replied well but after my 2nd message she didn't read it however she is online. I want her, I can reach her there but what to text now ??? should I translate and talk with her in her language because English is hard to her and make her nervous ?
You should forget about her. There's nothing there to build. She's far from you and is showing a lack of interest, and there's nothing you can do with text to make her interested again.
Always pay attention to what girls do when you're trying to figure out their interest. If she's not replying consistently then that's pretty clear.
Don't chase girls like this. Find someone in your own city who you can actually date.
The only reason guys end up in these kinds of situations is because of a lack of options, so they kling on to a girl thinking it's their only chance.
You can do better but you have to learn to get good with women.
I've definitely played with texting for the past few months, and I'm finally getting results from online and getting numbers. I've found that when I stop worrying about looking too needy, like you mention in the article, and text more often, I get more responses. Seems like common sense, but finally makes sense to me.
Yeah, worrying too much about looking needy will create some weird behavior. Taking a chill approach to the whole thing works better.
This is hilarious. Most guys are trying to get women to STOP texting them. I'll answer a question in what I think is a complete, final way only to have the woman continue to text (grrrr). Ladies - texting must have a point or guys hate it. It is not just a way to waste time or make sure he's thinking of you. I'm a busy guy and need to get stuff done, so if you are sending me pointless texts, consider yourself dumped.
Can you write a column on how to get women to STOP texting?
Some guys, definitely not most guys. I get letters from guys all of the time asking about texting. If you want girls to stop texting randomly then don't be engaging when you reply. Make it brief.
Hi Daniel,
messaging the way you did can come across as needy. It's showing that you're thinking about her too much. After an encounter like that just leave it for a couple days then when you message again set up a new date. Don't bother with bantering.
Having said that, if she was really into you, regardless of those messages she would have replied. Most likely she had buyers remorse and is avoiding you now.
I'm wondering why you didn't have sex with her? Four hours is a long time to make out and go down on her and not take it farther. That's another thing that could have been a turn off; you were too eager to please her. Don't do that, take care of your own needs and both of you will have a better experience.
Nothing quite like treating a lady to lunch or happy hour, sending a simple text about having a nice time with her and then getting no response at all. This is the rule not the exception I have experienced from online dating. I'm not perfect but considerate and decent and would expect a simple response in return. It is not methodology or "having game" or some other issue. It is just a numbers game where women are absolutely in the driver's seat with online dating. They do like being treated and gaining attention, very easy for most women with online dating.
Women feel it is OK with online dating to be rude and inconsiderate to men and then complain that they hear from creeps and perverts. I'm sure they do on occasion, but they also hear from decent fellows who they ignore and reject because there are always more to choose from.
It's more than just a numbers game. Numbers matter, but you can have a better "conversion rate" or end result depending how you connect with women, and your methodology or process while dating.
I used to think there was no pattern and nothing I could do to get better results. "It's just numbers", I thought. I earned that was false.
The first thing I would do in your case is stop treating women to lunch or happy hour. Go do something which doesn't cost money, or coffee at most. Want a drink? Then one drink max. Better yet, get her to bring some wine or beer. This will all require a shift in mindset to make it work.
Yes, many women will be rude and not return a cordial text. A lot of them do it simply because they've had bad experiences with guys who wouldn't get the point, or reacted badly to them not wanting to meet again. On the other hand, a lot of women are just rude. Happens after sex too.
Hi , I'am caden
I know this girl like 2year plus , But I dun know her well enough ! Tht suck .
I'am poor in texting and my text are bored to her . So how can I improve it . i dun have much topic to talk with her . Can have your help ?
Hi Caden, texting her is not going to make her like you. There are some ways to spike interest if things have cooled down, and if you've known her over two years and nothing has happened....
You need her to meet you in person otherwise you won't have a chance to create attraction.
A much better solution would be to get good with women in general and forget about this girl. Learn how to meet women and date multiple women to create options for your self. If you have options you won't be obsessing over a single girl anymore.