It seemed like you really hit it off when you met. She was smiling, flirting, and was super enthusiastic. “Yeah, let’s have coffee!” she said before leaving. You messaged her expecting she’d get right back to you, but hours passed, then days, and she didn’t even bother to say “Hi” back.
“I’ve messaged countless women with very little luck. The ones that do reply back end up messaging 3-5 times, but when I try to set up a date the text msg gets cold.”
Or maybe she did respond, and you had a great text conversation.
You bantered back and forth, told a few jokes, and you knew she was into you. It seemed like everything was good but when you asked her to meet she stopped messaging, or would take hours to get back to you.
In the end it was just “I’m busy” or no reply at all, and frustration. It may seem like a mystery but there’s a way to get more girls to reply.
Keep reading till the end, you wont want to miss all the details.
That feeling of excitement from meeting someone new quickly turns into disappointment when your text chat goes cold. Even worse, when she doesn’t even bother to reply.
You feel like you did everything right but it’s a complete mystery why she won’t respond to you.
You may have even tried to look up “text game” but you’re still not getting any responses.
This is a common issue that men face after getting numbers from a attractive women.
It seems strange because when you met her it was all smiles and flirts. However, you think about it everything becomes clear. Hot girls get asked out by guys all of the time, and if you don’t stand out there’s another guy who’s going to get her attention.
Click here to get my word-for-word text template so you can get 76% more replies and dates
Getting her to reply and come out on a date often boils down to getting out of your own way. It doesn’t matter if you’re in Toronto, Vancouver, Calgary, Asia, or anywhere else in the world. Women will respond positively if you let them.
The common text mistakes guys make can change a girl from interested to “busy”. If you’re doing any of the following, it could be killing your chances to get a date:
You don’t need to be funny, tell her your life story, have a text conversation or try to make her like you.
Women fall for guys who make them feel something. When you introduced yourself she may have felt butterflies, curiosity, been turned on, or she may have had no interest at all. Whatever it was, that’s going to be the one thing that compels her to reply or not.
If you take too long to msg (3 day rule) or set up a date (get to the point) you’ll let her cool off and “life will get in the way”.
Guys who are feeling insecure will often send long text or message frequently. It’s needy, and turns women off because it looks like you have nothing better to do.
*Note: There’s nothing wrong with being funny or witty, it’s just not necessary and can even work against you. It’ll often look like a guy is trying too hard, so just stick to the basics.
Guys sometimes tell me “I don’t agree with you on this one, I know I’ve changed girls minds by texting them X and X…”
The problem is, 90% of communication which creates attraction is missing when you text. Body language, voice tonality, eye contact, and touch.
Attraction isn’t created with pixels on her phone. If she didn’t like you when you met, nothing you text will change her mind. Sometimes it’s just a matter of persistence and timing, and that’s where following up comes into play. More on how to follow up near the end.
There’s only one reason to text a girl you’ve just met – To set up the first date.
Don’t get confused by so called pick up artist trying to sell you “The Ultimate Guide To Texting” or any other complicated junk. You have her number so now it’s time to make the magic happen; go see her in person.
This is the only set of rules you’ll ever need on how to text girls. I’ve done this for years and know how effective it is. Best of all, it’s simple and easy.
A lot of guys use the three day rule because they’re worried about looking needy. In reality, a guy who sets things up right away looks bold and assertive. He’ll also stand out from all of the other guys who are waiting, trying to look cool even though they’re thinking about her all day.
Guys who wait master… I wont say it, but you get the point. There isn’t a perfect time to message after meeting a woman, but if you wait your odds will decrease.
The window of opportunity after meeting a girl is short.
Take advantage of that short time while you’re fresh in her memory. You’ll only come off as needy if you send her a novel sized text or too many messages, as was mentioned earlier.
“As a general rule, whoever is putting the most effort into the communication is the one doing the chasing. So if you want to have any shot of getting a girl to chase you, then you must not over-text. Instead, look to keep the text ratio close to 1:1 and text the girl about as frequently as she texts you.” – The Art of Charm
As long as you keep it simple and to the point, the exact wording isn’t too important. Tell her it was good to meet her, and ask which day works to meet up for coffee. It’s really that simple.
One thing to avoid is weak language like “Do you want to”, “Can we” “Could we”, “Would you like to” Those all come off as ‘beta’ or insecure.
In my case, I actually set up first dates at home which is a bit more complicated. I won’t go into that on this post though as it’s much more advanced than setting up a coffee. Keep it simple for better results.
Click here to get the ridiculously effective template I use to get dates every week.
I always send a follow-up text a couple of days later if I don’t get a reply.
Typically, I will make a bit of a joke in my message or call her out (lightheartedly) as someone who doesn’t reply. There’s no reason why you can’t be direct about it, just keep it fun.
A lot of women who don’t reply to the first message will reply to the second one. It knocks the fence sitters off the fence. The women who are not interested will continue to be silent.
I’ll often just send a “?” and be done with it. Again, it’s just a poke or friendly reminder for fence sitters.
Part of dating is a numbers game, so don’t get too torn up about someone not replying. After all, who’s she anyways? A stranger. Don’t take it too seriously, another date is always just around the corner.
Online dating is a different animal altogether. I’ll be putting some detailed articles together to talk about that in future post.
Click here to get my word-for-word text template so you can get 76% more responses and dates
Listen to my interview with Jack Donovan here: Never apologize for being a man.
I'm the founder of Conquer & Win, and since 2011 I've been helping guys get into great relationships, build their core values as men, and become confident. I'm published on Lifehack, Order of Man, POF and many more. I want to help you get socially confident and live to your full potential. Feel free to contact me here.
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