Conquer & Win

The Personal Development High: Why Self Help Junkies Fail To Create Success

Why personal development isn’t working for you.

Many of us go searching for a sort of personal development cornucopia; a source of information or ‘trick’ to make us into better people with better lives. We read books, go to lectures, seek out guru’s, and consume endless hours of self help videos.

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personal development girl thinking

Many of us will continue this pattern for years, going through tons of programs and content and in the end, we have nothing to show for it. We get a high from consuming personal development content. It’s almost like we think that just by consuming endless amounts of content or ‘motivation’ that our lives will magically transform.

I did, too. There were so many programs I found online, and so many books I read, but not a single thing changed until I decided to do the work.

That would seem obvious but the human mind is incredible at making excuses and rationalizing inaction.

There’s a certain amount of disillusionment a personal development junkie can expect by looking at the cold, hard facts. The material wealth which was never achieved, the relationships never bonded, and the elite fitness levels we fell short on are a few of the disappointments that will come to light when reality is looked at objectively. That may seem negative but it can be the wake up call we need to change our lives.

Of course, it could also be looked at as, “this doesn’t work” when they reality is that we didn’t do the work.

It’s not that personal development is bad, quite the contrary, but the way we achieve a new standard of life and become amazing people is not by guzzling enormous amounts of information. The way we become stronger men is by doing the work to achieve big goals which were out of our reach when we first decided to go after them. It takes real growth to persevere and make them happen.

“It’s almost like we think that just by consuming endless amounts of content or ‘motivation’ that our lives will magically transform.”

The goal itself is really a secondary achievement. When we test our steel and go through the pain of a metamorphosis, the growth we create inside of us is priceless.

The skills and bravery we develop will carry us to new levels of success which we couldn’t even have imagined before embarking on the journey. Just like climbing a mountain, you cannot see the next peak until you have climbed the lower level first. With each new level you conquer, your confidence, skills, and intelligence will increase accordingly.

The reason why personal development junkies never achieve a high level of success is because they’re focused on making themselves feel good, or motivated, rather than getting anything done. It’s far more comfortable to think about change and dream of better days than it is to work. 


Self help junkies will fool their brains into thinking that they have achieved a goal because because of the temporary high from their idea or motivation.

The resulting endorphin rush is the same thing they would have gotten if they had achieved the goal, without all of the dirty work. The end result is a lack of action to turn their motivation into reality because they already got the reward chemically in the brain.

We’ll become bigger, better, and stronger if we do the dirty work and persevere through the tough times when trying to achieve our goals. If all we ever do is read about success and making ourselves into better people, we’ll never become better people. It’s time to wipe that stupid smile off of our faces every time we read something “life changing” and start actually changing our lives through work.

It’s the act of doing something significant which makes life worthwhile, and it’s that experience which will make us better, stronger people.

Keep going through the personal development content but stop imagining and start doing. The high you get from false personal development is killing the life you really want and the person you could be.

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About the Author Eddy Baller

I'm the founder of Conquer & Win, and since 2011 I've been helping guys get into great relationships, build their core values as men, and become confident. I'm published on Lifehack, Order of Man, POF and many more. I want to help you get socially confident and live to your full potential. Feel free to contact me here.

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