Why Can't I Get A Second Date?

Are you on a dating losing streak?

You're going on one date after another and you never see them again - even though you've invested countless dollars into 7-11 hot dogs, they just don't appreciate it.

This probably has you asking the question: why can't I get a second date?

If that's the case, don't worry because in this post, you'll learn:

  • Some of the most common problems guys have when they're going on first dates that result in them not getting second dates
  • Solutions to these problems so you can have a lot more second dates

And so much more. Let's get started:

Why Can't I Get A Second Date?

The question every guy asks when they've gone on multiple dates and girls ghost them or say how nice they are, or that they're busy suddenly... Forever.

It's not random chance. It's not a coincidence that every date you're going on turns into nothing.

It feels almost like magic because just like Jesus turned water into wine, you're turning women into ghosts. They simply disappear into the universe.

However, I guarantee you they're still out there. They just don't like you. But fear not, there is a solution to this problem.

Most Common Issues That Make It Harder To Get Second Dates

Let's get into the most common issues that result in guys not getting second dates:

#1. Lack Of Confidence

This is the place to start because especially if you're a guy who's not getting second dates, it's going to be hard to feel confident.

But you have to push through that anyways and figure out ways to boost up your confidence.

There are different ways to do that, including focusing on your body language and your breath. How is your body language?

Are you slouching? Are you looking at the ground all the time? Do you have your hands in your pockets? If you're doing any of that stuff, you need to straighten up.

Get your hands out of your pockets. Start looking straight and not at the ground.

Also, start breathing more fully so you actually have some oxygen in your lungs and when you speak, you'll have more of a man voice, which will also make you feel more confident.

Outside of that, are there any things that you're not doing right now that could make you more confident?

If there's anything you've been wanting to do for a while but you haven't because you're scared or you have anxiety about it, then it's time to knock those things off your list to help you build your confidence.

Another thing you're going to want to do is talk to more women. Go out and be social. Don't just talk to women, talk to everybody.

#2. Insecure Body Language

This is really important. Not only if you have insecure body language will it tell you that you don't feel confident, but it's going to tell your date you don't feel confident and she's not going to be attracted to that.

Improving your posture can go a long way for both your own confidence as well as what you're projecting in other people, including your dates.

#3. Hygiene

This includes keeping your hair trimmed, shaving your beard or trimming it, keeping your nails trimmed and clean as well.

You'd think this would be something everyone understands already, but it's not. Not really.

If you have long nails or dirty nails, hair sticking out of your nose or out of your ears, untamed eyebrows and hair, you haven't had a haircut in a while, then chances are you're going to be off putting for most of your dates.

Especially if you're going after attractive women who maintain themselves. I've seen this happen before.

I had a student come once for a bootcamp, really cool guy.

Although, I was surprised when he came and he hadn't shaved and his hair was all messy, like he hadn't had a haircut in a couple of months (he hadn't).

After that, on the first day of his bootcamp, his results were pretty mediocre.

I forced him to get a haircut and get his beard trimmed properly, and the second day, he did much better. This is proof that hey, that first impression really matters.

#4. Your Voice

If you have a soft Mickey Mouse voice, or if you always have this upward inflection at the end of your sentences where you sound like a girl asking a question, that's going to be an immediate turn off, because it sounds feminine.

It also makes you sound very uncertain about yourself. When you speak, speak with some conviction, including speaking with a stronger voice.

Take a deep breath and actually speak from the bottom of your diaphragm. It will make a big difference in the impression you make on your dates.

#5. Eye Contact

I could have included this with body language, but it's so important that I'm going to bring this up on its own.

Eye contact is one of the biggest keys to creating attraction. You need to be able to keep strong eye contact.

That means keeping your eyes on her eyes and not looking away as if you're looking at the sun.

If you have bad eye contact, you're looking at the ground all the time, you're looking away or staring all over the room instead of keeping your eyes on her eyes, she's gonna lose interest very quickly. Chances are you're not going to get a second date.

#6. Talking About Yourself The Whole Time

As interesting as you may think you are, you may not actually be that interesting to everyone else.

So, if you go on a date and you're trying to impress her by just talking about yourself the entire time, then there are good chances you're going to repel her.

Especially if you're trying to brag or talk about all the things you've done and the things you have. It's not going to impress anyone.

Instead, turn that focus around and talk about her.

Everyone likes to talk about themselves, so you should be the leader in the conversation and get her to open up and share about herself.

Get her to talk about things that are important to her.

What direction is she going in life? What does she like? What passion does she have, if she has any?

It's up to you to uncover all those details and be the leader in the conversation so you can actually take it somewhere.

And yes, you will also talk about yourself. I'm just saying don't talk about yourself the whole time.

Let it happen organically during the conversation. You can relate to her. If you have common experiences, that's great. Focus on getting her to open up and share about herself.

#7. Your Dates Are Too Long

If you go on a long date, especially if it's a talking date, it's going to be very tiring and her brain is going to be frying by the end of that date.

A talking date means you're at a coffee shop, a restaurant or any other activity where the activity is just talking and you're talking for two, three, four hours.

If she feels tired at the end of the date, she's not going to be interested in having that experience again.

All she's going to remember is that feeling of being tired after the date. So, respect your own time and cut the dates down shorter so you can actually leave an impact and leave her wanting more.

I'd say an hour, no more. Unless you actually take her home and then the time limits are off - that's because activities are changing at that point.

#8. You're A "Yes" Man

Basically, you're too worried about her opinion of you and so you just nod your head and say yes to absolutely everything, even if you completely disagree with it.

That doesn't mean to do the opposite. You should not get into an argument with your date. It's not going to help you.

That being said, you shouldn't be a yes man either. You should be able to express yourself in a diplomatic way and put your opinions on the table.

At the same time, stay away from anything controversial because it's not going to help your date.

#9. You Wait Too Long To Set Up The Second Date

Maybe you wait a week, even two weeks before you text her to set up that second date.

Instead of waiting too long and letting her cool off, follow up within the next one to three days, on average.

That way. you'll still be fresh in her memory and her feelings and hopefully, if the date went well, she'd be interested in going out for another one.

Alright, the list is going to stop here. It could be much longer, but these are some of the top reasons why guys don't get second dates.

If you know any other reasons why guys don't get second dates, leave a comment in the comments section below.


How do I guarantee a second date?

There's really no way to guarantee a second date.

You can increase your odds by having a great date, making strong eye contact, using your voice appropriately, not acting like a pushover, and generally just being a strong man.

But nothing will actually guarantee a second date.

What are the chances of a second date?

The chances of a second date really come down to your own personal dating skills.

How much confidence do you have? How much experience do you have in dating?

Different guys are going to get different results in their dating lives. There are no expectations except for what you put into it yourself.

How do you know if you won't get a second date?

Some ways you can know if you won't get a second date are:

If your date decided to leave halfway through

You said you're going to walk her to her car and she said, "no, it's okay, I'll walk myself"

You texted her afterwards and she never replied

Top 10 Reasons Why You’re Not Getting Second Dates (Summary)

There are a few reasons you need to take into consideration:

  1. Lack of confidence: go out and be social, and always remember to focus on using confident body language
  2. Insecure body language: you’ll project that to yourself and to your date, which won’t attract her
  3. Hygiene: first impressions matter a lot, so it’s best if you take care of your appearance and personal hygiene
  4. Your voice: always speak with condition and a strong voice
  5. Eye contact: you need to be able to maintain strong eye contact, otherwise she’s going to lost interest fast
  6. You’re talking about yourself the whole time: make an effort to talk about her and the things that matter to her
  7. Your dates are too long: don’t risk her associating you with a bad experience or a date that which she was tired for
  8. You're a "yes" man: you shouldn’t agree on absolutely everything and you should be able to express yourself freely
  9. You wait too long to set up the second date: get back to her to set up that second date while you’re still fresh on her mind, one to three days after the first one

That's all for today. If you’ve got any comments or questions, leave them below.

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