When should you kiss on the first date? Or, should you even kiss on the first date?
There are some different strategies you can take. You could be successful going for a kiss on the first date or not going for the kiss on the first date.
It depends on how far you want to take it and what's going on in your date.
Do you want to kiss to test the waters, to establish a romantic frame, or do you want to get laid?
Or is the date going kind of badly and you're just like: "f*** it, I'm just going to do this and see what happens"?
Maybe you're going for that first date kiss because you're settling for a second best. That means that you'd like to get laid, but you don't think you could take it that far, so you're settling for second prize.
Let's explore your options here, whether it's just a kiss or something more. Starting with:
Let's look at your dating strategy first so we can see where you want to take this.
What is your goal for the date? Do you want to kiss her to get that first kiss out of the way, or do you want to actually take it somewhere else?
There are a few different ways you can do this:
You're showing that it's a romantic thing. This is not a friendship thing, aka you're avoiding the friend zone.
You wait until you actually take her home, and then you go for a kiss. In that case, obviously you're going to be trying to go for the full meal deal.
You may or may not get there, but that's always a good strategy and that's one that I usually would use myself.
It's the one that happens when it's the end of the date and you just go for that goodnight kiss.
The date isn't going that well and you know if you don't make a decisive move, it's going to go nowhere. You're never going to see her again.
I've done this before on dates and I've made it go really well afterwards.
One day, I was with a beautiful girl at a pub having a drink. We were in the corner of the table, seated there.
It was a pretty mundane conversation, nothing exciting. I was out of my home zone, meaning I was away from my place.
I wasn't going to be able to invite her home, and I knew if I didn't do something, it would go nowhere and I'd never see her again.
So I just stood up, gently grabbed her behind the head and went for the kiss. She didn't move away, but she was definitely very surprised.
Then we kept chatting for a few more minutes. We went back to her car afterwards because she was driving at that time, and then she invited me home for a drink.
I 100% believe that if I hadn't gone for that kiss, that wouldn't have happened. Any of these options are actually completely fine.
It's really up to you and your timing. In fact, you can just not have a first date kiss, and that's okay too.
You can try on a second date or even a third date. There is no rush to go for a kiss on the first date.
Although kissing a girl on a first date can be great, there's also some risk, which leads us to the dangers of kissing a girl on the first date:
Okay, it's not that dangerous, but the risk is that you could actually kill any sexual tension by getting rid of the anticipation.
She got to try you out already, she got to try your lips and now the curiosity may not be as strong.
Or maybe the kiss was bad, in which case that's going to mean she's not interested in stale seconds.
This is one of the reasons I prefer to go for the full meal deal and take them home before going for a kiss so I can try to go all the way.
Sure, there's always a possibility for that to also kill the anticipation because you've already gone all the way. But at that point, who cares?
I'm a try-before-you-buy kind of guy and if I'm going to have a relationship with somebody or start seeing them ongoing, I like to get that out of the way first.
That may not be you, and that's okay. But if your sexual chemistry is good after you sleep together, then the odds are you'll be seeing each other again because you're going to want more of that.
In the end, you can choose when to kiss a girl on the first date or not. There's no rush.
You shouldn't put any pressure on yourself because it's just not necessary.
However, at the end of the date it’s fine. When you're walking into her car or if you take her home, you're going to pick your spot then.
Typically you're going to wait till there's a pause, and maybe some sexual tension built up.
You'll feel those butterflies inside, you'll see she's kind of giggling as well when you're looking into each other's eyes and your faces are pretty close. That's usually the best time to go for a kiss.
There are lots of other opportunities too. You just have to learn about how to time it right.
You're not always going to get the timing right and that's okay, but go for it anyways.
If you really want to try for a kiss, just get it out of the way.
FAQs
Now, here are some common questions about when to kiss on a first date:
It is not expected to kiss on a first date. In fact, many people wait till the second or third date or even more before they have their first kiss. It comes down to personal preference.
Usually starting with a closed mouth kiss is the best kiss for a first kiss. That'll often lead to French kissing as well, but you don't want to jump on her with your tongue sticking out.
These are the only strategies you need to go for a kiss on any type first date:
That's all for this one. If you have any comments or questions, leave them below.
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