Are you a guy who is worried about your looks? You think you're either ugly or too average for the beautiful women you want to date. But do looks matter in a relationship?
I'm going to explain why:
Keep reading below or watch this video for full details.
This is a great example of how mindset holds many men back. It's a way of thinking, not looks, which keep most guys from getting the kind of dates they want.
Part of the problem is misunderstanding what women find attractive. Men are judging women by their looks and think women are attracted to men the same way.
Women do not find men attractive the same way that we find them attractive. Why? Men and women are not the same.
Women are not just men with different parts. We share many similarities but have some big differences in the way we think. The kind of things we desire come from very different perspectives.
The kind of dating strategies which will work for women will not work for men. And vice versa.
And it's not that looks don't matter at all because looks do have an effect. It can be helpful for a first impression, and in the long run to maintain attraction.
But it's not the main thing women are looking for, and it's more of a bonus than a requirement. You could be a butt ugly man who's oozing with confidence and get more dates than the better looking guy who doesn't believe in himself.
Also read: How to Meet Women
I've seen this many times with coaching clients. I've had clients before who you would look at and think, "That guy is never going to get dates with attractive women".
For example: One of my former clients, a middle aged Chinese man, short, and with a little bit of a potbelly, a strong accent and not very well dressed.
He didn't have any of the characteristics you would think that a man would need to date attractive women.
It took a number of months, but his confidence started building, and he learned how to open conversations with women in public.
As his confidence grew he started getting dates with younger, attractive women. And that's just one example. There's tons out there. I see it all the time.
There's a few things you can do to improve your overall confidence, including working on your looks. When we take care of ourselves it makes a difference in our confidence.
It makes us feel better and makes us feel more attractive to other people. And that feeling of being more attractive is projected to other people in the form of confidence.
Nobody's going to feel good overweight or underweight. And "skinny fat" or the "dad bod" is a terrible look for men.
Get in the gym and work on your diet. If you don't know what to do for diet talk to a nutritionist.
Working out will increase your testosterone too, and this will boost your energy and muscle mass. It's also essential as a man and likely affects how women are attracted to us.
As men, we don't need a dress fancy. Just wear something that fits. Really baggy clothing just hides your form. You might be hiding your form because you don't feel very confident, in which case go back to the gym.
The most important things to look out for are:
A man who maintains himself will feel more confident.
If you really don't know what to wear then ask for somebody's opinion. Talk to an attractive girl whose opinion you trust and start learning what looks good on you.
Posture has a huge effect on how other people see you and how you feel about yourself.
Bad posture will make you feel a lack of confidence because you're sending signals to your own brain about your "mood". It's a physical expression of what is happening inside a man head.
Some signs of bad posture include:
After years of bad posture your muscles will be weak. It will take some time to correct these habits. There are exercises to help you do this in the gym too.
To improve your posture and look more attractive:
Stop telling yourself you're ugly.
If you're always telling yourself you're ugly, you're unattractive or you're too average, you'll just reinforce these ideas.
Whatever you tell yourself moment to moment will be your reality. It's self-brainwashing in the worst way.
But it's not enough just to stop telling yourself negative things. You have to replace it with something more positive.
Find a phrase or statement to replace the 'I'm ugly' or 'I'm too average'. Something that resonates with you.
It's self-brainwashing in a positive way to reverse negative thinking habits.
One of the best things you can do for your confidence is talk to women.
Unless you build your experience in this area you'll never feel confident socially.
This will take time, but watch this video to get a head start.
Also read: How to Handle Rejection From Women
Now, I want to know what you think. Leave a comment below and let me know if you have any questions.
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