If you're using online dating and you're not getting any matches or any responses to your messages, then you might be saying to yourself: online dating does not work for me.
You're probably right. There are a number of different reasons why online dating may not be working for you.
As a man, the odds are against you for online dating. In fact, I just got a comment on one of my videos about online dating.
This guy said he's swiped a thousand times and has gotten fifteen matches. Those odds are pretty terrible.
That's a lot of swiping with very few results. Also, this is a guy who's 40.
I don't know how long he's been trying this or when he started this, but the older you get, the worse it's going to get.
Your results are going to be pretty much abysmal, especially if you don't have good photographs and a good profile write up.
Online dating is basically online marketing, so you need to understand marketing to make it work.
Unfortunately, you can't really change your stats. This is why a lot of people lie in online dating, especially for guys.
They lie about their height, always adding a couple of extra inches because every inch counts, as we know. They also say they're younger.
This is very common for women too, a lot of women lie and say they're younger than they actually are.
They use older photographs when they looked better, or they ate a few hamburgers less, if you know what I mean.
There's a lot of lying going both ways for both men and women on online dating. If you're looking for a relationship, that's a really bad way to start one.
If you're a younger guy, maybe in your early 30's or in your 20's, especially if you're attractive, you're going to have a lot more options for online dating. You're going to get a lot more matches.
However, if you're not one of those guys, then investing your time on online dating is a waste of time. Why swipe a thousand times if you're only going to get fifteen matches?
Chances are those fifteen matches aren't going to actually turn into dates.
You might get one or two dates out of those, but you probably have to get a number of matches to actually get somebody in person. That's where your personality comes into play.
One of the problems of online dating is that women don't see or experience your personality.
Depending on how confident you are, how much social experience or dating experience you have, that might be something which may need some work. It's something you can improve.
For the majority of men, I suggest actually meeting women in real life. You can do this anytime you're out.
Anytime you step out of your door, you can go to the grocery store, the coffee shop, or at a restaurant and start chatting with a waitress, or the bartender.
It doesn't matter. Any woman you run into is a potential date.
If you're used to the idea that you can only meet women for dates in very specific situations, chances are you haven't even thought about all the other potential ways you could ask somebody out.
Go slow and start taking some baby steps. Start getting more social in general, not just with the women you're attracted to.
Start saying hi to people in the morning when you're on your way to work or your way to school.
Start conversations everywhere you go, including with the cashier or the barista. Take a chance and start asking some of these women out.
Over time, you're going to learn the best ways to start a conversation and ask women out, ways that are actually effective.
You're also going to develop more confidence, which is really attractive to women.
If you've been using online dating your whole life and you're not used to doing this, it's probably going to take a lot more time to actually build your confidence, because you don't build any social skills with online dating.
That's something you can start right now, no matter what your age is.
I'm a dating coach and I've been doing this for over 11 years. I've seen lots of guys go from online dating to meeting women in person and get successful at it. It just takes some time.
So, is online dating not working for you either? Leave a comment below.
If you’ve got any comments or questions, also leave them below.
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