You've got a girl's number, and you're excited. Now you're thinking, "what should I do for the first date"?
If you're like most guys, dinner is probably the first thing on your mind. It’s also one of the worst first date ideas.
Even though it’s a classic dating idea, it’s all downside and no upside for men.
I’m going to explain why, and give you solid alternatives that will help you get the girl and keep money in your pocket.
In this post you'll learn:
Or watch my video below:
This is the date advice you won't get from mainstream media. If you don't know how to date a girl, then you're likely to end up like most men, constantly undervaluing your time and money.
We've all been conditioned to one degree or another to want to take women out for dinner on our first dates. It seems like a great idea because, hey, eating is fun.
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Unfortunately, for a number of reasons, a restaurant is a horrible idea for a first date.
Click the table of contents below to skip to each section.
1. You're paying for her attention: Unless you split the bill, you’re sending the message of “I will spend my hard earned money on you if you agree to hang out with me”.
Even if you go Dutch, you're still going to end up in the awkward moment where the check comes, and you feel an obligation to pay.
Now you're paying for her attention and her time. Unless you take her home, there's really no reciprocated value. Don't pay just for a conversation with a woman.
2. There probably won't be a second date: Most of the time your date will lead nowhere.
That's just the way first dates go. Most first dates aren't going to turn into second dates or anything afterward.
Why hand over your money for someone who you may never see again?
3. Your time is worth more than that: You're worth more than just paying for a woman's attention. You may as well go to an escort if you want to pay for play. At least then you're going to have sex.
Otherwise, you'll pay the tab, wish each other good night, and never see her again.
4. It's a vicious cycle: So, now you're going to go on another date with another woman, and you're going to take her out to dinner too. And you're going to do the same thing again, pay her tab.
Doing this gets expensive, fast.
5. It won't make her like you: Paying for a woman's dinner won't make her like you. It's not going to turn her on in any way, but your actions will. Focus on strong eye contact, a confident vice and attitude, and physical touch.
By paying for a woman's attention in this way, you're also setting a bad standard, even if you two continue to date. You're the guy who pays for stuff.
I've talked to a lot of women who are perfectly happy letting a guy pay for a first date, even if they're not interested in him. Just because they have nothing else to do.
Some people don't value their time, and some women will use your time and money to get a free meal if you allow them to.
Being a woman's meal ticket is not your ticket to a second or third date. It's not your ticket to a relationship, and it's certainly not your ticket to sex.
As a man, here are a few things you should be focusing on that will help you create attraction. Take this date advice and try it out for yourself.
Eye contact: The way you look at her is crucial. Make sure you're making strong eye contact. Don't have your eyes darting around like you're looking for an exit. Also, be sure to smile a bit. It shows a lot of confidence, and it'll help you create sexual tension. That tension enables you to create chemistry.
Hold your ground: When there's one of those so-called "awkward silences," eat it up. Don't shy away from it. Instead, just look into her eyes and maybe smile or smirk a bit. Don't jump in and try to say something to fill the awkward void.
That'll kill the tension.
Sexual tension is a key part of the driving force that makes you stand out from other guys. If you allow it to fade, you lose the intrigue and excitement that comes from the mutually recognized possibility that sex could happen.
Instead, let her do that. Let her jump in and try to say something to try and continue the conversation. You just stay grounded in the moment.
To learn more about how to have a great conversation, check out “How To Never Run Out Of Things To Say”.
Now, obviously, you're here for some date ideas too. You don't want to only read about what you shouldn't do.
Here's how to date a girl the right way.
What you should do is take her somewhere you can talk and make strong eye contact. For me, there are four options when taking a girl for a date. And they're either no cost or low cost.
1. Coffee date: I know, it's simple, boring, and mundane. It's the basic bitch of first dates, but it's also very cheap.
At most, you're going to pay for your coffee and maybe hers. That's going to cost you what, maybe five bucks?
It's not a big deal in this case. Plus, you won't have to talk with your mouth full, so you can actually work on the things that help create attraction and a second date.
2. A Walk: Walks are one hundred percent free, and you can take her to a park, beach, or whatever's around your area. You can focus on the things that matter without pulling out your wallet.
3. Grab a drink: Now, a drink costs a bit more money, and depending on the bar you go to, it can be very expensive. However, if you limit it to one drink, it's not always a bad idea.
If not, you're probably going to end up spending at least fifteen to twenty dollars.
It's not the cheapest date, but it's not the most expensive either. It's nice to have a little bit of variety on your dates, especially if you're going on a lot of dates.
If you’re not, check out some of my content on how to improve your dating life.
4. Your place: This is my favorite option. Inviting a girl you don't know to come to your home on a first date may seem a little scary, and not every woman is going to say yes.
That's okay. Although, a lot of women will say yes if you ask the right way.
Obviously, you can't expect any guarantee that anything will happen. She may come over, chill for a bit and then leave, and that's okay too.
At least you're going to be in an intimate environment where something can happen. Also, it's a zero-cost date unless you want to provide drinks or something.
If you invite a woman to come over to your place for the first date and she says, no, that's fine too. Change it up, go for a coffee or walk instead.
So there you go. There are some low cost/no cost date ideas that you can use, even on your second or third date.
These scenarios will put you in a situation where you have the best opportunity to create attraction and chemistry.
You won't give the wrong impression and pay for her time while she reciprocates nothing. Save that for the men that don't know how to date a girl.
As a man, you're better than that. Never pay for a woman's attention.
Rely on your personality instead of doing favors for her. By taking back your power, you will earn a lot more respect and interest from women.
I'm not saying that dinner dates can never work. I've done dinner dates before, and they did work.
It's just a bad precedent to set. You don’t want to spend a lot of money for nothing.
So now I want to hear what you think. Leave a comment below if you think I'm wrong or you have some other date advice that works exceptionally well. Until next time, conquer and win.
Hi, I'm Eddy Baller, author & founder of Conquer & Win.
I've been a dating and relationship coach since 2011, and since then I have helped men across the globe to build their social confidence and get the dates and relationships they deserve. Get your FREE dating consultation now by clicking the button below.