Are you a guy who thinks if you go slowly enough, you might avoid offending the girl you like and eventually she's going to fall madly in love with you?
Do you also think that if you try to get sex early, that's going to mean you just want sex and there's definitely no way you can get into a relationship?
Too many guys have been brainwashed by Disneyland romantic fantasies and other Hollywood fantasies about dating, which don't address the reality of dating and attraction.
In fact, they don't address attraction at all. They always portray some kind of goofy gentleman tripping over himself to give flowers to his lady.
A guy who has no boundaries and basically can be walked all over because if he waits long enough, the girl's going to fall madly in love with him.
Well, quite the opposite is true. For many guys who know already, acting like that just leads straight to being a friend, which is not what you're looking for.
In this post, I'm going to explain:
And so much more. Let's get into it.
Here are some of the main reasons:
Romantic comedies make their money off of generally appealing to a woman's sense of romanticism about dating.
However, the reality about dating is often quite different, just like everything else in Hollywood.
If you ask every date home on the first date, you have much higher odds of success.
This is not only for taking someone home, but also getting into a relationship, no matter if it's serious or no strings attached.
Moving faster creates momentum and energy to take you towards your relationship and dating goals.
If you're moving slower, it allows other things to get in the way, including other guys who are also trying to get the girl that you like. Those guys are probably moving faster than you.
By moving slower, you may give an impression that you're more of a friend than a lover, and that you don't have the confidence to take the relationship where you want it.
Moving faster will not guarantee success, but it will establish something about your personality and your character.
It'll show that you're a more confident and assertive man. These are qualities which are attractive to women.
Now, let's get into the meat and potatoes of this thing. Let's get into the details.
Here's why moving faster will help you be more successful at dating than moving slower:
Have you ever been to a movie that has a story that moved way too slow?
Or one in which the story didn't make much progress and you're sitting there for hours waiting for it to get to a point? And by the time it does get to a point, you're already tired and you're bored.
That's like your dating life when you're moving too slowly for dates. It kills the momentum, energy, and excitement.
By the time you get anywhere, it's already too late and she looks at you as a friend.
To get some momentum and energy going with your date, you need to move faster and inject some energy into it so you create that excitement and take it somewhere before it's too late.
This will also help you get ahead of the other guy who's also trying to go for that girl who's moving slower.
I'll give you a quick story related to that: I met a girl one time in a grocery store, she was really cute.
I had a conversation with her, got her number and we met for a coffee date.
We're at the coffee shop and she starts talking about a couple of other guys that she's been seeing for a number of months.
Neither of these guys have made any move except for both of them, coincidentally, in the same week had, as she said, confessed her love to her.
She told me how these guys took her out for dinners, they drove her around, they did things for her, took her places.
Basically, they were her errand boys. And it got them absolutely nowhere. She was actually confused, because she called them "friends".
These are friends who are buying her stuff, buying her dinners, and she just didn't clue in. Obviously, they're not sparking any sexual energy. There's no romantic interest on her part.
I took her home that same night.
If these guys would have actually moved faster, or at least one of them would have moved faster, one of these guys could have beat the other guy to the punch and made something happen.
She was ripe and ready to go, just waiting for the right guy to show up.
Guys who move really slow are typically uncertain of themselves.
They feel like they're walking on eggshells and anything they may do might offend the girl, and then she won't be interested in seeing them.
This is really important to them because of the fact that they don't have any other dating options.
If you don't have any other dating options, you don't know how to go out and meet somebody else, then this one girl you met, she seems like a precious gem.
Or like in the Lord of the Rings, she's that ring. These guys don't make any moves because they believe they're scaring the girl away. It's quite the opposite.
By going too slowly, you're going to actually end up scaring her away because her feelings are going to change into a very platonic way.
You're not showing any confidence or assertiveness, which is attractive to women.
Also, by not making any moves, you're not establishing the nature of your outings, which is romantic. It's not platonic.
This brings us to the importance of.
Making a move or inviting her home is not a guarantee she'll go home with you or that she'll go for the kiss. But it is establishing something.
It is establishing that it's a romantic thing, and also showing some balls, confidence and assertiveness, which are all attractive to women.
You have to treat her like a lover and not a friend. If you treat her like a friend instead of a lover, she's going to mirror that back to you.
She's going to give you that friend vibe right back. But if you treat her like a lover, it's much more likely you're going to get reciprocated as a lover.
Because let's be real, you're not there to be her friend. You're there to be her romantic partner, possibly have a relationship, or just have sex. Whatever it is, it is not to be a friend, so don't act like it.
This is my number one rule. Don't wait until the second date or the third date.
Don't procrastinate, don't make excuses, don't pretend that she's some special gem, or that she's innocent or some kind of angel, because she's not.
Just like with making any other decisive move, doing this will show some confidence and it's ensuring you don't get friendzoned.
Again, it doesn't mean you're going to get somewhere. At least you're establishing something and if she's not going to go for it, you can move on.
I don't mean necessarily move on after the first date. You're going to try to set up a second date, of course, but now at least you've shown your true colors.
You've established the fact that it's a romantic thing and she knows what to expect on the second date.
Another reason why you want to ask her home on the first date is because you're only guaranteed the first date.
As long as she shows up, you're only guaranteed the date that you are on. Whether that's the first date, second date, or third date, that's the only date you have.
You can't be expecting anything else. You can't be planning for the future. It's okay to have the idea they're going to see her again because you like her, that's great.
But make a move now because this is all you have, this is all the time you have.
Even if it seems like you're having great chemistry and you're having a great conversation, it doesn't mean she likes you romantically.
She may be enjoying the conversation, but if she doesn't feel that spark, nothing's going to happen.
So, make something happen. Make a move and see what happens.
Oh, and one quick point to remember: it doesn't matter if you're going for a one night stand or you're going for a long term relationship, all relationships are based on sex.
That's where it starts. It's with attraction. If there's no sexual chemistry, there's no relationship. There's no romantic relationship. We're talking about a friendship, then.
Many long term relationships will start with sex, whether it's on the first date, second date, third date, it doesn't really matter. It's going to start with sex.
It's a myth that you have to go slower or wait longer if you want a long term relationship.
For more info on first dates, check out this post.
Here are the reasons why moving too slow is killing your dating life and why moving faster is better:
❑ Why is moving too slow killing your dating life?
❑ Why is moving faster helpful to have more success at dating?
If you’ve got any questions or comments, leave them below.
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