How To Not Be Awkward On A First Date

When thinking about how to not be awkward on a first date, a scenario comes to mind:

If you've ever been on a first date that felt sort of like an interrogation, lots of staring into the distance, eyes glossing over, and lots of awkward silences, then you should probably give up right now.

Just kidding. It's not the end of the world if you've ever been on an awkward first date.

However, if you're going one date after another and it's awkward, then this is a pattern you want to interrupt.

In this post, I'm going to explain:

  • How you can be confident in your first dates instead of acting like Mr. Bean
  • How to create a dating plan and have the best date ever
  • Steps to eliminate awkwardness

And so much more. Let's get into it.

How To Not Be Awkward On A First Date

Awkwardness on first dates is usually about insecurity. It means you're not 100% confident in yourself or what you're doing.

You can eliminate a lot of awkwardness by creating a dating plan and sticking to it. Follow these steps so you can create your dating plan, eliminate awkwardness, and have your best date ever:

#1. Identify Your Dating Goal

What is your end goal? What's your plan for your date?

You don't want to be like a leaf in the wind and go where it goes.

You should have a plan that includes where you want to take it, where you're going to start, where you're going to be, where you're going to finish, how the date is going to end, everything.

That doesn't mean you're going to script out everything, because you definitely don't need to do that.

There's always a possibility that things will come up which will interrupt your plan, but generally, it's not that complicated.

Most dates are pretty straightforward. So, have a plan for your date.

If you're just going to meet her, have a coffee, have a conversation, and walk her to her car afterwards, then that's great. Or if you're going to ask her home, then plan for that as well.

Whatever your plan is, it's going to dictate how you conduct your date.

#2. Plan Each Stage Of Your Date

This is going to include: your greeting, getting to know her, closing the date and the follow up.

A. Your greeting

You need to plan your greeting taking into consideration the following questions (and possibly more):

  • How are you going to greet her when you see her?
  • Where are you going to greet her? Is it going to be on the street corner?
  • Is it going to be inside the coffee shop, inside the bar?
  • Are you going to arrive slightly early and be ahead of her so you already have a table?
  • When you see her, are you going to use the full strength of your voice and a big smile?

B. Getting to know her

This is a conversation, so you shouldn't script it out. It won't work and it's going to be awkward as hell and very robotic.

Focus on what you want to learn from that conversation. What do you want to learn about her?

Who is this girl? What are her ambitions or what are the things she's really into? Focus on her, get her to open up and share about herself.

The conversation is going to be about a 60-40 split, with her speaking about 60% of the time and you speaking about 40% of the time. But you're going to be leading it the whole time.

C. Closing the date

This is how you're going to finish your date.

Are you going to walk her to her car? Are you going to invite her home? Are you going to go for a short walk? Are you going to take her for an ice cream cone after?

Whatever. It doesn't really matter. I guess taking her for ice cream or taking her home wouldn't actually be closing it...

However, you need to have your end plan in mind because that will dictate what you do at the very end.

D. The follow up

How are you going to follow up and text her? Are you going to invite her on a second date? Do you have another plan in mind?

Another coffee, dinner at your place? Whatever it is, have something in mind for a follow up afterwards.

It's clear that having a plan like this won't necessarily completely eliminate awkwardness on a first date, but you'll have an idea about what you're doing from start to finish, which will eliminate a lot of unknowns.

Here are a couple more points to make it a little bit better for you:

When you're planning your date, it should be someplace you know instead of something brand new.

A brand new space that you're unfamiliar with will make it easier to be awkward because you're not really going to know your way around.

And finally, the thing that really is going to eliminate awkwardness on first dates is going on more first dates. That's experience.

This is going to take time, so give yourself the time to learn and grow. It's not going to happen overnight.

It's going to take some time and obviously, you have to learn how to get as many dates as possible.

That's probably one of your goals, whether it's for a relationship or something casual, it doesn't really matter.

Give yourself time to grow. A lot of guys are too worried about the short term, not really looking at the long term.


Here are some common questions of eliminating awkwardness on a first date:

Is it normal for a first date to be awkward?

It's normal for a first date to be awkward, but it doesn't have to be that way.

Depending on your confidence levels, your dating plan, and other factors, you can make your first dates less awkward and more enjoyable.

How do I stop awkward silences on a first date?

To stop awkward silences on a first date, the best thing to do really is to embrace the awkward silence.

Instead of scrambling to say something as soon as there's an awkward silence, try to sit there confidently and just look into her eyes and smile and let her say something.

Basically, put the burden on her shoulders to say something that'll actually create some sexual tension. Plus, it takes some of the pressure off yourself.

For more info on first dates, check out this post here


There are two things to take into consideration to eliminate awkwardness on a first date:

  1. Identify your dating goal: you should plan your date from where you're going to star to how the date is going to end
  2. Plan each stage of your date: your plan needs to include: your greeting, how you’re going to get to know her, what you’re going to say to close the date and how you’re going to follow up to get a second date

Do you have any questions or comments? Leave them below.

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