This is all about how to meet women from a romantic perspective, and stand apart from other men who choose apps, bars or online dating. Learn where to get dates in your city whether that’s Vancouver, Toronto, Los Angeles or Timbuktu, and increase your confidence at the same time. Let’s get started!
I’ll show you how to meet women anywhere in public. Don’t be limited to online dating, bars, or introductions by friends. Click Here for a free coaching session so you can attract classy, quality women
Mainstream dating “wisdom” will keep you limited in where and how you can meet women, but who wants to be limited?
I’m going to explain why you’re not getting dates with the kind of women you want, the big lies about dating that may be holding you back, and how to change your love life forever with a few simple strategies and mindsets.
Then read on.
This guide will take you from start to finish through almost every factor involved in meeting women for dating and relationships.
TABLE OF CONTENTS
Click the links below to jump to each section, or scroll down.
Note: This post is not about how to impress women.
You see, although you’ll become impressive to women through your actions and ballsiness, the focus is on how to be an awesome man.
Most dating advice is the opposite, focusing on how men can pander to women, and generally be doormats (which turns women off).
Icon by Erin Gillaspy
So much bad dating advice exist because most people simply don’t know any better, but love giving advice anyways.
The majority of dating “experts” only have average levels of experience with women, or they’re women who have ZERO experience dating women.
Fake experts just rehash dating myths to men who then end up frustrated when nothing works.
A good measure of a “gurus” experience is how conventional their advice is. If they advise you to meet women via:
Then you can be pretty sure that they’re not a real life James Bond with the ladies.
Some of these methods are valid for meeting women, but would anybody with above average experience recommend “play tennis” as dating advise?
If they knew of a better way they wouldn’t be recommending the same old cliches. I call this the “Mommy standard” for judging dating advice. If your mom could have told you exactly the same thing, then you might want to be skeptical.
The Vancouver Sun is a perfect example of limited thinking.
The options on their pole for “best place to score a date in Vancouver” were restricted to work, online, clubs, getting hooked up or a social activity.
I love social activities, but they’re a lot more fun when there’s no pressure to meet a woman.
And the sad result of this poll: A setup through a friend.
Women are everywhere, yet the conventional “go do a social activity” dating advice is the only thing most people can think of.
Some “experts” even go as far as telling men not to talk to women: From So Suave
|“Thinking “I wish I could talk to her” is NOT a sign that you need to learn how to approach strangers in public, where every hot woman is angered by or terrified of new men talking to her.Thinking “I wish I could talk to her” IS a sign you need to GET A LIFE.”|
That’s a man who doesn’t know how to approach women. His advice is based on his own lack of social skills.
Sorry Ron Louis & David Copeland, but if you’re “terrifying” or “angering” hot women by talking to them then maybe you’re the one’s who shouldn’t be meeting them. Other men, on the other hand, might want to give it a try.
Since you’re here to learn how to meet women in public, you have an advantage over other guys who are stuck with conventional dating wisdom.
Let’s carry on.
This story I wrote on Elite Daily shows what’s possible and the difference between being a romantic Vs. clicking on a profile.
From: Approach Women Like a Gentleman: 6 Ways To Get The Woman of Your Dreams
|She walked past me in the opposite direction. Her face was eclipsed by a black umbrella tilted slightly forward, but I could see her lips, and my senses were tempted. At that moment, I was pushing through an after-work crowd with a friend in tow, talking about how to meet women.
Serendipity struck; my friend and I kept talking, but my heart wasn’t in the conversation anymore. My head turned sharply, looking back as if caught by a fishing line, hooked and in tow.
Her jeans hugged her curvy form and brought attention to her feminine physique. Long, brownish hair with golden highlights cascaded over her shoulders and rested lightly against her back.
It was raining, ever so slightly, but still enough to feel the cold, damp air penetrate my clothing. The street was busy with people dressed in suits and overcoats leaving their offices, hustling to make it home for dinner and to find their favorite spot on the couch to kick their feet up.
I looked back again and she was starting to disappear into the crowd. Mid-sentence, I broke away and ran back, dodging umbrellas, briefcases, and power-walking office types. I got her attention as if I wanted directions and she stopped briefly to face me.
A look of surprise and caution formed on her face when I told her why I stopped her, then she started slowly walking away. A ton of people were walking through our conversational bubble, making it even more awkward as the space in between us widened, but I persisted.
“You walked past me and I ran back because I wanted to meet you,” I said. She was still moving away slowly, but I kept talking while staying planted to the ground. An awkward handshake through bustling bodies, an introduction and a minute later, her phone number was in my address book.
The encounter was brief, and it was even awkward, but that was the beginning of a romance which wasn’t planned or predictable…
That approach turned into a long term relationship with a hot, high quality girl. I know because that’s my own story.
Contrast my story with “I saw her pic on Tinder and thought, sure, why not! Then I swiped right…”
Benefits of Meeting Women in Public
The qualities that’ll get you more women are about developing yourself as a man. It’s sort of like cross training so you can get stronger for an Ironman competition.
Although your goal is to be more athletic, you’ll still gain muscle as a side effect. That means looking better, feeling better great, and getting more attention from women.
Looking good and gaining confidence isn’t the objective of this training, but it’s a side effect.
That’s how you should look at most of the personal development that will get you the kind of relationships you want (and keep you out of the kind you don’t want).
There’s another benefit: you won’t rely on any woman to validate you, which will free you to be yourself.
You’ll have your own interest and aspirations that keep you busy, focused, and excited about life. A great woman will compliment a great life, not be your life.
Too many men end up being needy because they have nothing else going on. When they meet someone cool they cling on for dear life. All of their time ends up being about her and not about their aspirations.
This kills relationships because neediness is a huge turn off for women.
From The Art of Manliness: Being Your Own Man
|When you’re eight years old, you’re pretty much oblivious to the opinions of others. You can wear a superhero cape to the grocery store, pretend to be a pirate at a party, and declare that your aunt’s blouse is ugly, all without a second thought to the judgment of others. Then one day, most likely in middle school, some snot-nosed kid makes a crack about your Spider-Man t-shirt, and while you pretend to blow it off, the t-shirt never again sees the light of day.|
Over time, we change to fit other peoples expectations and avoid doing things that might not be approved by others.
From The Art of Manliness
|Are you having success? If you’re moving up in the world, and doing well for yourself, but people are criticizing what you’re doing, brush off these haters. If you weren’t doing a good job, then you wouldn’t be finding success. These people are usually jealous and just trying to hold you down.|
Benefits of Being Your Own Man
This is a direct, no nonsense way to meet women. If you hate beating around the bush then you’ll love going direct.
Most direct approaches are compliment based, like “I think you’re cute” or “I love your sense of style”. This type of approach allows you to determine if she’s interested or not (quickly).
I’ve been brash enough to say “You have a great booty” and they loved it. I don’t advise most guys to be this direct though because it requires confidence to work.
Learn how to do a direct approach here.
Situational approaches are any approach which is not direct. They can even include compliments, like telling a girl at the cafe that she has nice nails, but not being direct about your intentions. Instead, you make a compliment in passing or a random remark like, “Does it feel like winter yet?”
The point is to start a conversation with a casual remark.
All the techniques and advice on where to meet women won’t help if you don’t have the right mindset.
What’s the point of knowing what to say to a woman if you’re too scared to say it? To overcome your fears adopt the right mindset.
Being able to draw upon this certainty, or inner strength, will allow you to use advanced social skills that get better results.
|Imagine a computer. The monitor, keyboard, and processor are the hardware. Without any software to run it, your computer would be worthless. Your body is your hardware and your mindset is your operating system. It gives you access to the power of the hardware, and determines what software you can run. It lets you get the most out of your computer, allowing you to balance your checkbook and even create 3-D designs. – Gorilla Mindset|
In the next section you’ll learn common mindset fallacies that could be costing you dates, and some steps to change it.
This is a common question, and it doesn’t matter if you live in a city like Vancouver, Toronto, or Tokyo, it’s always the same.
|As corny as it sounds, love really is all around: On the train, at work, at the pub, in the library, and even online. But sometimes it’s hard to keep your eyes open to the possibilities that cross your path. If you’re not looking with wide-open eyes and listening with wide-open ears, you could be missing out on a love that’s right under your nose…
Maybe they were serving you a coffee or giving your cat a needle or teaching you first aid and you just let them go because it never even crossed your mind that you could step towards them and see if they would take your hand.” via News.com.au
You’re probably a busy guy, so it’s easy to be out “not looking” because you’ve got things on your mind.
You come across an attractive server, barista, or receptionist, and it might not occur to you, “This girl might actually go out with me”.
Why wouldn’t she? We’re all human, and attraction can happen anywhere. Limited thinking comes mostly from a lack of confidence, but also from conditioning.
We’re told you can only meet women:
Women are still women everywhere regardless if they’re working, walking, with friends, at a club or online.
Their basic human desires stay the same. Women don’t go to work and then turn into a machines.
Single women still want to meet men regardless of the time, day of the week, or scenario. It’s important to pay attention to the scenario though. Don’t charge in like a social bulldozer without a clue, adjust your approach.
Be open to getting dates from anybody that you meet:
Make some attempt at conversation. If you’re silent there’s no chance, but if you say something you never know where it may lead.
The ego is probably the biggest roadblocks stopping you from meeting great women.
Anytime you’re worried about rejection, it’s part of a fear that your ego will be damaged because you won’t look good if she says no.
“If this random woman doesn’t like me then that will make me look less valuable or cool.”
Benefits of Dealing with the Ego
Darren Hardy: Strive to Fail
What would happen if one day you decided you just “didn’t feel like” going to work? Would you still have a job if you acted on these negative feelings? It’s highly unlikely.
You went because you wanted to get a result; money to pay the bills, go on a trip, etc.
Too many guys allow their feelings at the moment to dictate the results they get in the future. Everything you’re doing right now will determine where you end up.
Benefits of Taking Action When You “Don’t Feel Like It”
Alternatively use another form of leverage like going to the store to pick up something you need/want, or even treat yourself for going out by getting your favorite thing.
By developing these social habits you’ll be able to take advantage of a lot more opportunities. Guys who don’t have these habits will miss opportunities because they’re not conditioned to respond to them.
Most guys react to opportunities in a way that prevents them from getting dates; such as walking down the street and catching a girls eye contact, then looking away shyly.
Instead of a palm-print on your own face you could have a hot girls number in your phone. If you make a habit of catching opportunities you’ll never have to worry about not getting dates.
Morning routine by AlphaM
One reason you may be failing to meet women is because you’re not asking the right questions.
Women are everywhere but guys still ask “Where do I meet women?”. Because I’m a dating coach I hear this question all of the time.
A better question would be “How can I talk to a girl walking down the street?”. This question will make you think of a solution. That question lead to where I am now in my life because I set out to learn.
There are some other possible roadblocks as well:
Men’s fashion is simple, dead simple.
It’s not about dressing in suits, or buying the most expensive designer clothes; it’s all about the fit.
If your clothes fit right you’ll get more female eyes pointing in your direction.
Benefits to Wearing Properly Fitting Clothing
You may be on a date, everything seems like it’s going well, then suddenly…she seems a little different.
Now she says “I have some things I have to do and really should get going.”
Why did she suddenly go cold on such a good date?
You may not be able to know for sure, but if you don’t have these common hygiene mistakes under wraps you could be losing out on a ton of potential second dates (and lays).
It seems obvious enough but I can’t count how many times I’ve taking guys out coaching and noticed dirty nails.
Bad hygiene is a date killer.
The Top 7 Hygiene Mistakes and How To Fix Them
If you have feminine, or submissive body language you’ll feel a lack of confidence. Any women you meet are going to react negatively to this.
Everything about you is assessed within seconds of meeting someone; it’s almost entirely about the way you communicate with body language.
Good body language = Dates
Bad body language = No dates
It’s simple (sort of).
You’ll not only communicate to others about who you are, you will also communicate to yourself about who you think you are.
Walking around with your shoulders rolled forwards and your hands in your pockets feels bad. Contrast that to walking with your head up, back straight, and hands by your side.
Benefits of Manly Body Language
The most common question I get is “What do I say?” The short answer is almost anything. The long answer is that there are specific things you can say to open conversations, and some tricks so you never “run out of things to say”.
The basic rule of thumb is focus on the girl. Whether on an approach or a date, keep the conversation on her and you’ll be golden.
The main reason is because you’ll connect with her emotionally.
Why? Because by getting her to talk about herself she’ll open up to you. If she opens up it will create trust and that “he gets me” feeling.
Unless you create an emotional connection she’ll never go out with you, even if she gives you her phone number.
Here’s what to do next:
Icon credits: Icon by Konrad Michalik & José Manuel de Laá S.Shohei, JP, by Benjamin Harlow, by Egon Låstad
I'm the founder of Conquer & Win, and since 2011 I've been helping guys get into great relationships, build their core values as men, and become confident. I'm published on Lifehack, Order of Man, POF and many more. I want to help you get socially confident and live to your full potential. Feel free to contact me here.
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