How to meet women naturally without dating apps
This guide will show you how to meet women in any situation.
Most guys see a girl walking down the street and they look away shyly.
What if you could start a conversation with any woman you saw instead of walking away wondering, “what do I say”?
That may be you now but you’re in the right place to change your love life.
Reach your TRUE potential with The Ultimate Guide to Meeting Women
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- How to meet women naturally
- The best ways to start conversations
- How to meet women without using apps or going to a club
- How to attract women even if you’re short, shy, unattractive or inexperienced
- The best places to meet women
- How to find a girlfriend
Regardless of whether you are shy, have little or no experience, or just need to get some new ideas, read further to learn the best ways to meet women.
Click the menu below to read each section.
1. Where Is the Best Place to Meet a Girl?
Contrary to popular belief, dating apps, online dating and clubs or bars are not the best places to meet women.
This is why:
- Bars or clubs: You have unlimited competition with drunk guys who have been harassing every girl in site. This means everyone has their guard up, and that means a lot more work for you. Not only that, but there are a lot of “party girls” which is not great if you want to get into a relationship.
- Tinder and other dating apps: Although it’s convenient, swiping left or right on photos is probably as superficial as you can get. It’s also difficult for the average guy to get quality matches because of the high level of competition.
- Online dating (POF, Bumble, OKCupid): Online dating is it’s own animal. It’s basically online marketing, so unless you understand marketing it’s a major grind. You also face major competition. Online, even attractive women get hundreds of messages.
Instead, try meeting women naturally to:
- Meet an unlimited number of women
- Get what you see (no fake profile pics)
- Know if you like her as soon as you meet her
- Build your confidence: The act of starting conversations naturally will help you build confidence and conversation skills
The top places to meet women:
There are women here studying, killing time, relaxing and getting together with friends. It's an easy, relaxed place with low pressure to start a conversation. Baristas are easy to chat up in this environment too, and I’ve gotten many dates with both staff and customers at different cafes.
On the street
You could be doing errands, meeting friends, on a work break or grabbing a bite to eat, but no matter what you’re doing you’ll have to hit the street. Doing this kind of approach takes some balls and some precise social skills, but it’s a simple approach. Don’t miss all of the opportunities you could have by learning this skill.
A slow environment where it is easy to start a conversation using observational openers. By learning these conversation skills you could get a date everytime you go shopping.
Here you really get what you see because most women will be wearing bikinis. It can be intimidating but is also a fun environment to meet attractive girls.
If approaching a girl on the street is too intimidating to start then try a meetup.com group. There are endless social groups you could join to meet someone with common interest.
Wine tasting events
If you like wine then this is a must. Although a lot of couples will be here, there are always single women looking to try new wines. Alternatively try a beer tasting event.
Definitely the right place to meet women who have the same musical taste. The downside is that the loud music will make it difficult to chat, so you will rely a lot more on body language.
Most college campuses have a higher ratio of women to men, so the picking is good. You don’t necessarily have to be a student to go to a college campus to meet women. There are usually coffee shops and other public areas you can hang out in.
There will always be groups of women at restaurants which you can approach. Depending on the environment there will be different ways to approach a table. Waitresses are also great to connect with and get dates.
Softball games are usually made up of a lot of women. I used to set up casual games with my friends and we ended up getting a lot of regulars every Sunday, and this resulted in some dating between different participants.
What is the best way to meet a girl?
Meeting women in public is the best way to get a date because the opportunities are endless. Any day you go out there are always women, and all you have to do is be bold enough to start a conversation. Do this every day and you’ll always have dates.
Keep reading below to learn specific methods and conversation starters.
Where is the best place to find a girlfriend?
Finding a quality girlfriend can happen almost anywhere. Although avoiding bars and clubs is usually a good idea because alcohol influences the outcome, which is not a great way to get a girlfriend.
2. How to Start a Conversation (Different Approaches)
Starting conversations and approaching women go hand in hand, so I’ve combined this topic. Read below for some conversation starters and approach tips.
This is a direct, no nonsense way to meet women. If you hate beating around the bush then you’ll love going direct.
Most direct approaches are compliment based, like “I think you’re cute” or “I love your sense of style”. You’ll quickly find out if she’s interested or not. Being this bold shows confidence too, which is attractive to women.
SaveYou’ll also feel like a man for taking the initiative.
- Honesty: You’re telling her your interest upfront.
- It’s ballsy: A big turn on for women.
- Fast: You’ll find out if she’s interested or not within a few seconds.
- Flattering: Even if it doesn’t work out it’s very flattering, and you’ll both walk away with a smile.
- Walk up to her and say “excuse me” (make sure to give her space, don’t get in her bubble)
- Tell her why you walked up to her (explain the situation) “I was just walking the other way when I saw you…”
- Give her a simple compliment “You look great so I wanted to say hi.”
- If she’s comfortable, then start learning about her, “What do you do for work?”
- End the conversation after you’ve made a connection, and ask her out for a coffee, “Let’s grab a coffee some time.”
- Learn how to do a direct approach here on the full guide.
Situational approaches are any approach which is not direct.
They can even include compliments, like telling a girl at the cafe that she has nice nails, but not being direct about your intentions. Instead, you make a compliment in passing or a random remark like, “Great colours (her nails) really matches the summer weather.”
The point is to start a conversation with a casual remark and see where it leads.
3. What Do I Say to Girls?
I know far too many grown men who still smell like reeking teens, and whether they know it or not, their odor problem is wreaking havoc on their personal relationships, their business prospects, and the respect people give them. —Nathan Fifield
The most common question I get is “What do I say?” or “How am I to meet women if I’m bad at small talk?”
The basic rule of thumb is focus the conversation on the girl. Whether on an approach or a date, keep the conversation about her.
It might sound boring, but ask her what she does for work. Now is where you turn it from boring to a real connection builder.
Ask her why she got into her work, or how she got into it. It’s important not to rapidly jump from topic to topic or you’ll never build a connection. Instead go deeper and learn what motivates her, what makes her tick.
The basic format to remember is “what” (What do you do?) then “why” (why did you get into X work?).
4. How Can You Meet Someone If You Are a Shy Guy?
Shyness shouldn’t keep you from starting conversations with women. The main thing here is to start taking baby steps and getting comfortable with conversations.
Attend a class.
When you attend a class it changes the dynamics of meeting people. You’re already there doing something you have in common, so everyone is more relaxed. It’s also easy to start your conversation talking about the class or course.
You can also attend meetup.com social groups. This is a great way to practice getting into conversations with strangers, and build your confidence as a shy guy.
Sign up for a course or RSVP on meetup.com TODAY to make something happen. You won’t be able to overcome shyness if you stay home.
Without overthinking all of the possible scenarios, sign up online, especially for a meetup which personally interests you (like a hobby) then schedule it on your calendar.
Also go here and see the full post on building social confidence and overcoming shyness.
SHYNESS MEGA GUIDE https://www.conquerandwin.com/how-to-overcome-shyness/
5. How to Ask for a Girls Phone Number
When Do I Ask Her for Her Number?
This is an important skill when you learn how to meet women. Look for a moment when the conversation is going great. Maybe you got her laughing, you just told a great story, or found a subject she enjoys. Then you wait for a natural pause.
The way you ask is crucial too because this is when many guys get nervous (they are now worried about rejection). If you were chatting confidently then suddenly turn into a jellyfish when asking her out it can change the outcome.
Not just the way you say it but the wording too.
Try asking her out like this, “I have to get going but let's have a coffee sometime.”
The reason why this works is because you’re making a positive statement “let's” instead of “do you want to?” which makes you look more confident. You’re assuming the answer is “yes”.
Also keep a strong voice. If you suddenly sound like Mickey Mouse she might reconsider going out with you.
6. How to Text Message Women
Your follow up after getting a girls phone number will be crucial.
The biggest mistakes guys make with texting are:
- Waiting 3 days (the “3 day rule” sucks, don’t do it)
- Texting too much (save the conversation for the date)
- Telling her too much (same as the above, it’s texting too much and revealing too much too soon)
- Not getting to the point (you got her number to set up a date)
Instead do this:
- Text her the same day
- Invite her out on the first message
You could write a message like this:
“Hi Julie, nice meeting you earlier. Let’s grab a drink during the week, which day works for you?”
It’s quick, simple, and gets to the point.
For the full texting guide go here: https://www.conquerandwin.com/why-women-go-cold-on-text-messages-and-how-to-write-messages-that-work/
7. What to Do on Your First Date
First dates can be nerve wracking. You’re meeting up with a complete stranger, or maybe a long time crush who you finally asked out.
Either way the pressure is on. Or is it?
The best way to handle a first date is to let go of all of the pressure associated with it. This is easier said than done but there are some steps you can take below.
- Let go of expectations: Expectations are often unrealistic and result in disappointment.
- Focus on enjoying the date: You’ll have more fun and so will she
- Focus the conversation on her: The best way to get to know someone is to get them to open up about themselves. This also creates chemistry and trust.
- Make strong eye contact: Eye contact is your number one way to create chemistry and sexual tension
- Be bold, not timid: Guys who apologise for everything and are too worried about what their date thinks of them will come across as pushovers, a big turn off for women.
- Don't rush to fill in silence: Whenever there is a silent void, don’t rush to fill it. Just look into her eyes and let the natural tension build. Smile, and she’ll do the same. Guys who rush to fill in this silence demonstrate a lack of confidence. Let her fill the void instead and take the pressure off your shoulders.
(Go here for the full guide: https://www.conquerandwin.com/first-date-tips/ )
8. Grooming and Style to Catch Women’s Attention
If you want to succeed at meeting women you need to make a good first impression.
The Top Grooming & Style Mistakes And How To Fix Them
1. Trim Your Nails
Always make sure your nails are trimmed short (hands and feet), and there is zero dirt underneath. She might not see your nails immediately, but nothing will ruin a good rapport like gross fingers.
A buddy of mine who’s a coach had to drag his client to the store to buy a nail clipper. It may not seem like a big deal, but women notice.
2. Wear Nice Clothes
Wear clothing that fits. Baggy, ill-fitting clothing just looks sloppy. If you wear something that fits women will notice you and you’ll have more confidence.
Don’t forget the shoes. Spend the money on getting a couple nice pairs of shoes, both for dressy and casual situations. You might not think about it, but women notice.
Make sure you don’t have stains on your clothing. It’s not just for the women you might meet, but if you don’t have the self respect to stay clean you’ll lower your confidence. Self respect goes a long way.
Your hair says a lot about how well you take care of yourself. Get monthly haircuts and work and style your hair. Styling your hair just means doing something to it so it looks like you did. Don’t just walk out with a mop on your head because you woke up that way.
4. Other Hair
Trim your nose hair and the “boys”. You’ll send dates running if there are Anacondas creeping out of your nose. Trim family jewels show self care and look better.
5. Home Care
I went to a client’s house once and was shocked at how dirty everything was.
You could see the speckles of grime everywhere, especially the “out of the way” spots that you would think nobody’s going to notice. They notice. Clean your home thoroughly on a weekly basis.
As Dr. Jordan Peterson says, make your bed everyday. It’s the first step to getting things done.
6. Chapped Lips
I took a friend out to help him meet women and the first thing I noticed was his car-wreck looking lips. When you’re talking to a girl she’ll notice your lips. If your lips are chapped and flaking it’s game over, so buy some lip-balm. Nobody wants to kiss dry lips.
7. Bad Breath
Bad breath is a huge turnoff for both men and women. It can be a sign of bad hygiene or bad health.
To cure this:
- Brush your tongue. The tongue traps food within its creases which then rots and creates bacteria.
- Floss to get trapped food from your teeth
- Brush 2X daily
- Use mouthwash
- Drink lot of water to avoid a dry mouth from dehydration
9. How to Stop Being Needy
I love a man with a great sense of humor and who is intelligent - a man who has a great smile. He has to make me laugh. I like a man who is very ambitious and driven and who has a good heart and makes me feel safe. I like a man who is very strong and independent and confident - that is very sexy - but at the same time, he's very kind to people. -Nicole Scherzinger
I love a man with a great sense of humor and who is intelligent - a man who has a great smile. He has to make me laugh. I like a man who is very ambitious and driven and who has a good heart and makes me feel safe. I like a man who is very strong and independent and confident - that is very sexy - but at the same time, he's very kind to people. —Nicole Scherzinger
If you want women to be attracted to you then stop seeking validation. It’s sort of ironic, but the less you seek their approval the more you’ll get it.
A strong, confident man doesn’t rely on women for validation. He is free to be his own man, to follow his own interests, and to develop his own life skills. That’s the kind of man women want to meet.
That’s how you should look at personal development. When you develop into a strong, confident man, it will show in all areas of your life.
It will help you get you the kind of relationship you want and keep you out of the kind you don’t want.
When men don’t have options, the moment they meet someone they cling for dear life.
No one likes neediness. It’s the fastest way to kill attraction. .
Not only do you give up your own sense of self but you’ll scare away women who have their acts together.
Neediness = A turn off for women.
Follow these steps to develop a stronger sense of self so you can stop depending on others for validation (i.e. neediness).
- Goals: Write down your goals: A man with goals has direction and a path to follow
- Make new friends: Part of developing social confidence is making new male friends. Positive, success oriented friends will support your growth.
- Choose a new hobby: Developing a new skill or interest will help develop your character.
- Work on your career or business: Make sure you handle your finances. Financial burdens take away the joy from life.
- Start conversations with strangers: To start meeting more women, start conversations with random strangers. You’ll learn social skills and build confidence to talk to new people, including women.
- Meet and ask women out: Finally, make sure to start conversations with attractive women. By meeting more women you’ll avoid neediness because you’ll have multiple options for dates (eventually). Guys who don’t have dating options will always feel an urgency or desperation because they don’t have control over this area of their lives.
The goal with the above steps is to get you taking action on some of the most significant areas of your life. It’s not an exhaustive list but these areas will help you shed needy behavior.
When you learn how to meet women confidently and know you can do it any time, the women you meet will no longer seem like “the one” every single time. You’ll be able to make good relationship decisions.
Just like you shouldn’t grocery shop when you’re hungry, don’t date when you’re desperate. It’s almost guaranteed to end in bad choices.
- Create a morning routine that will make you feel awesome so you’re more likely to take action.
- Say ‘good morning’ to each person who passes by at the beginning of the day.
- Start conversations with everyone you have to interact with (line up, cashier, bus driver).
- Approach the FIRST attractive woman you see when you go out everyday. This will make you feel great right off the bat, possibly get a date.
- Make eye contact with every woman you pass on the street. If she smiles, talk to her right away.
- Stop self-sabotage. Don’t let shyness become part of your identity. Keep away from negative self-talk. Link to shyness post.
- Surround yourself with supportive friends who will help you.
- Change your body language. The way you hold your body will affect your attitude when you approach women.