The rest of the guys all try to meet women the same way. They swipe or try bars or upload dating profiles.
What if you don’t want to be just like the rest?
I'll show you how to meet women and get dates whether it’s in Vancouver, Toronto, Los Angeles or Timbuktu, and increase your confidence at the same time.
Then read on. I’m going to explain why you’re not getting dates with the kind of women you want, the big lies about dating that may be holding you back, and how to change your love life forever with a few simple strategies.
It's easy to blame technology for what we perceive to be a vast disconnect between people. We're so wrapped up in social media, texting, online dating - in many ways, we're addicted to our devices. -Saroo Bierley
There is a lot of bad dating advice out there. So-called “experts” don’t have much real experience with how to meet women, but they’re sure going to talk about it anyway.
All they do is pass along the same old wives tales that they heard from their friends. And you end up frustrated when you follow their bad advice.
They all recommend the same old cliches. If you’re mom could’a come up with that advice, why would you follow it? Here are some of the “gems” I keep hearing.
If you ask your friends to help you, you might meet a woman or two. After a while, though, the well runs dry. But it can be worse than that.
I know someone whose friends are always trying to set him up on dates, but they’re terrible at it. They seem to think that “single” is another word for “compatible.” Just because they’re both single doesn’t mean they’ll get along.
There are agencies out there that you can pay to help you find women. You might get some names and numbers, but you won’t learn how to meet women. All you’re doing is paying someone to do the work for you.
You never know if they’re going to be worth it, either. Introduction agencies are great for scammers, too. NSW Fair Trading, an Australian consumer protection group, warns about the tactics unscrupulous introduction agencies use to scam you out of your hard earned cash.
But let’s get real. Do you want to pay someone for every name and phone number you get? Do you want to sit at home waiting for someone to descend from on high with your next date?
Sounds pretty weak to me.
If you’ve been paying attention to the news for the last year, you know why this is a bad idea. #Metoo has rightly uncovered some bad behavior, especially in the workplace.
But it also means that it’s risky to innocently ask out a coworker. If you appear a little awkward… If you say the wrong thing… You might end up in HR. Is it worth the risk?
Nope. If you want to learn how to meet women, you have to do it yourself.
You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. -Eleanor Roosevelt
One reason you may be failing to meet women is because you’re not asking the right questions.
Women are everywhere, but guys still ask me “Where do I meet women?” I hear it all the time.
A better question would be “How can I talk to a girl walking down the street?”. This question will make you think of a solution. That question lead to where I am now in my life because I set out to learn.
Here are the top 11 reasons guys fail to meet girls:
It’s sad when the “experts” tell us that there are only a few limited situations where you can talk to a woman. Women are everywhere, and you can meet them anywhere.
They give the same, tired advice: Work, online, set up by friends… and on and on. It limits the ways that you can meet someone new.
They even tell you it’s a bad idea to approach women. Check this out the bad advice from Ron Louis and David Copeland at SoSuave:
Thinking "I wish I could talk to her" is NOT a sign that you need to learn how to approach strangers in public, where every hot woman is angered by or terrified of new men talking to her.
Thinking "I wish I could talk to her" IS a sign you need to GET A LIFE.
What? Are they really telling men that they should stop approaching women? It’s their own social skills that get women angry. “The experts” say you can’t meet women anywhere, but they’re wrong.
But we know the truth. You just need to know how to meet women. Then you can meet someone anywhere.
It takes a CONSTANT flowing of gas from the cylinder to keep the fire burning under your pot. “WOOING your woman” should be a continuous process. It should NEVER end after you get your “yes” from her. If you did a lot to get her, you should do more to keep her. -Olaotan Fawehinmi
What is the best way to meet women? Here’s a story I wrote for Elite Daily which shows what’s possible when you stop clicking and start being romantic.
She walked past me in the opposite direction. Her face was eclipsed by a black umbrella tilted slightly forward, but I could see her lips, and my senses were tempted. At that moment, I was pushing through an after-work crowd with a friend in tow, talking about how to meet women.
Serendipity struck; my friend and I kept talking, but my heart wasn’t in the conversation anymore. My head turned sharply, looking back as if caught by a fishing line, hooked and in tow.
Her jeans hugged her curvy form and brought attention to her feminine physique. Long, brownish hair with golden highlights cascaded over her shoulders and rested lightly against her back.
It was raining, ever so slightly, but still enough to feel the cold, damp air penetrate my clothing. The street was busy with people dressed in suits and overcoats leaving their offices, hustling to make it home for dinner and to find their favorite spot on the couch to kick their feet up.
I looked back again and she was starting to disappear into the crowd. Mid-sentence, I broke away and ran back, dodging umbrellas, briefcases, and power-walking office types. I got her attention as if I wanted directions and she stopped briefly to face me.
A look of surprise and caution formed on her face when I told her why I stopped her, then she started slowly walking away. A ton of people were walking through our conversational bubble, making it even more awkward as the space in between us widened, but I persisted.
“You walked past me and I ran back because I wanted to meet you,” I said. She was still moving away slowly, but I kept talking while staying planted to the ground. An awkward handshake through bustling bodies, an introduction and a minute later, her phone number was in my address book.
The encounter was brief, and it was even awkward, but that was the beginning of a romance which wasn’t planned or predictable.
You might think, “This’ll never work,” but it does. I know, ‘cause it’s my story. It worked, because I learned how to meet women.
I was kind. I was strong. I was persistent. And she was intrigued.
What kind of story do you want to tell when someone asks, “How’d you meet?” A chance meeting on a rainy day is a pretty great story. She could laugh as you talk about how excited your were and how you won her over.
What about this one?
I saw her picture and said, “Why not?” So, I swiped right.
I love a man with a great sense of humor and who is intelligent - a man who has a great smile. He has to make me laugh. I like a man who is very ambitious and driven and who has a good heart and makes me feel safe. I like a man who is very strong and independent and confident - that is very sexy - but at the same time, he's very kind to people. -Nicole Scherzinger
If you want women to be attracted to you, you need to develop yourself as a man. Women don’t want men who are just looking to impress. They want men who are strong and confident.
It’s like what happens when you train for an Ironman. You just want to finish the event, so you train to be able to swim 2.4 miles, bike 112 miles, and run 26.2 miles. But there are many side-effects to training.
You didn’t set out to lose weight, but the pounds disappear. You didn’t try to find new friends, but the triathlon community rallied around you. You didn’t expect to be more confident, but you are.
A strong, confident man doesn’t rely on women for validation. He is free to be his own man, to follow his own interests, and to develop his own skills. That’s the kind of man a woman wants to meet.
That’s how you should look at personal development. When you develop into a strong, confident man, that will show in all areas of your life. It’s not about how to meet women, but that can be a side effect.
It will help you get you the kind of relationship you want and keep you out of the kind you don’t want.
Needy people are like newborns, I have come to realize. One intoxicated night and BAM! You are stuck with this problem. You finally take it home and it wants to keep you up all night and cries when it isn’t sucking on various parts of your anatomy. It wants you there for everything – rocking, feeding, burping, changing... It’s ridiculous. If I wanted a kid I would have one. Until then, grow the hell up and stand on your own two feet, you little crazy. -Chase Brooks
Too many men have nothing else going on. When they meet someone cool they cling for dear life. It’s the fastest way to look needy.
No one likes a needy man, men or women. It’s the fastest way to kill a budding relationship. You need to be your own man.
From the Art of Manliness:
When you’re eight years old, you’re pretty much oblivious to the opinions of others. You can wear a superhero cape to the grocery store, pretend to be a pirate at a party, and declare that your aunt’s blouse is ugly, all without a second thought to the judgment of others. Then one day, most likely in middle school, some snot-nosed kid makes a crack about your Spider-Man t-shirt, and while you pretend to blow it off, the t-shirt never again sees the light of day.
We change ourselves to fit other people’s expectations. We avoid things we love, because they don’t look cool. Why let them be in charge?
From the Art of Manliness:
Are you having success? If you’re moving up in the world, and doing well for yourself, but people are criticizing what you’re doing, brush off these haters. If you weren’t doing a good job, then you wouldn’t be finding success. These people are usually jealous and just trying to hold you down.
Sometimes looking the part is as important as believing it. Most people don’t feel confident at first. They act confident until they feel that way.
Being your own man is much easier when you act like you are your own man. It’s pretty simple:
Mind is a flexible mirror, adjust it, to see a better world. -Amit Ray
It doesn’t matter how much you learn or how many techniques you memorize. If you don’t have the right mindset, you’ll never learn how to meet women.
What’s the point of knowing what to say to a woman if you’re too scared to say it? To overcome your fears adopt the right mindset.
The right mindset will give you the strength and attitude necessary to use the techniques we’re teaching you. If you have the right mindset, you can use advanced techniques to meet single women and get better results.
Check out Gorilla Mindset by Mike Cernovich. The book is a guide to improving your mindset to take your life to the next level. It’s a great resource to help you get the right mindset to meet women.
From the book:
Imagine a computer. The monitor, keyboard, and processor are the hardware. Without any software to run it, your computer would be worthless. Your body is your hardware and your mindset is your operating system. It gives you access to the power of the hardware, and determines what software you can run. It lets you get the most out of your computer, allowing you to balance your checkbook and even create 3-D designs.
In the next section you’ll learn common mindset fallacies that could be costing you dates, and some steps to change it.
A simple compliment goes a really long way - for a guy to just come over and say, 'You have great hair' or 'I really like your dress,' and then just smile and walk away. That's a great move, because he's sort of putting himself out there by doing that, but it won't lead to any embarrassment if the girl isn't interested. -Stacy Keibler
Here’s the practical section: how to approach women you meet. Use these different approaches as a strategy to approach women.
Or if you're looking for more conversation starters, check out this article.
This is a direct, no nonsense way to meet women. If you hate beating around the bush then you’ll love going direct.
Most direct approaches are compliment based, like “I think you’re cute” or “I love your sense of style”. This type of approach allows you to quickly determine if she’s interested or not.
I’ve been brash enough to say “You have a great booty,” and she loved it. I don’t advise most guys to be this direct though because it requires confidence to work.
Whatever you do, make sure you’re the one to approach her. It shows confidence, and you’ll feel strong taking the initiative.
Situational approaches are any approach which is not direct. They can even include compliments, like telling a girl at the cafe that she has nice nails, but not being direct about your intentions. Instead, you make a compliment in passing or a random remark like, “Does it feel like winter yet?”
The point is to start a conversation with a casual remark and see where it leads.
Most women like it when men come to the rescue, even in small ways. If you see someone who needs help, offer.
Simple situations make it easy. You can help someone carry a stroller up the stairs or chase down papers flying in the wind.
When you offer help, don’t ask for permission. If you say, “Can I help you with that?” She’ll almost certainly say “no.” We all like to think we’re perfectly independent.
Instead, say, “Let me help you with that.” Make it a statement, and she will be much more likely to let you.
How can you meet someone if you are a shy guy? Or if you’re bad at small talk? Attend a class.
When you attend a class, it changes the dynamic of meeting people. You are already there, doing something you have in common. So, everyone is more relaxed.
Then you don’t need to start with small talk. Instead, talk about the class. You know that she’s interested in it, so why not go with a sure thing?
This is an important skill when you learn how to meet women. Look for a moment when the conversation is going great. Maybe you got her laughing, you just told a great story, or found a subject she wants to talk about.
Whatever it is, ask for her number when everything’s going great. Make sure you have your phone handy before you approach. You don’t want to fumble through a backpack or briefcase while she’s waiting.
My philosophy of dating is to just fart right away. -Jenny McCarthy
Ego gets in the way of meeting women. If you’re worried about rejection, you’re worried about your ego.
What’s the worst that can happen, though? A stranger that you will never see again might not like you. How bad is that?
If you deal with your ego, you’ll
I'm typically single. I'm the girl who - I call it girl-next-door-itis - the hot guy is friends with and gets all his relationship advice from but never considers dating. -Taylor Swift
How can you meet women outside your social circle? This is a common question, and it doesn’t matter if you live in a city like Vancouver, Toronto, or Tokyo, it’s always the same.
As corny as it sounds, love really is all around: On the train, at work, at the pub, in the library, and even online. But sometimes it’s hard to keep your eyes open to the possibilities that cross your path. If you’re not looking with wide-open eyes and listening with wide-open ears, you could be missing out on a love that’s right under your nose…
Maybe they were serving you a coffee or giving your cat a needle or teaching you first aid and you just let them go because it never even crossed your mind that you could step towards them and see if they would take your hand.
You’re probably a busy guy, so it’s easy to be out “not looking” because you’ve got things on your mind.
When you come across an attractive server, barista, or receptionist, it might not occur to you, “This girl might actually go out with me.”
Why wouldn’t she? We’re all human, and attraction can happen anywhere. Limited thinking comes mostly from a lack of confidence, but also from conditioning.
How can you meet a woman if you don’t like to hang out at bars? There are tons of places where singles hang out. If you want to find love anywhere, you just need to be in a place where single people like to hang out.
Go to coffee shops or bars. Walk down to the beach and enjoy the sun. Any place where singles hang out is a good place to meet someone.
Check out this list of ideas:
Keep your eyes open, too. If you start seeing the same person in the same places, chances are that she’s noticed you too. Make sure you don’t waste the opportunity to introduce yourself.
If you’re looking, it’s easy to find the answer to the question, “How can I meet women anywhere?” Just go there and ask!
The conventional wisdom tells us how to meet women in all the old places:
But if you look up, you’ll see that women are everywhere. They’re working, walking with friends, at a club, or online.
You might wonder, “How to meet women without Tinder?” Love is all around. You just have to look for it.
Women want to meet men. Many of them have just as hard a time getting someone’s attention as we do.
Plus, many women think that they can’t approach men. They’re waiting for you to go to them.
Single women still want to meet men regardless of the time, day of the week, or scenario. It’s important to pay attention to the scenario though. Don’t charge in like a social bulldozer without a clue, adjust your approach.
There are some simple principles you can use to be more successful. Keep these tips in mind to help you be more successful:
Be open to getting dates from anybody that you meet:
Make some attempt at conversation. If you’re silent there’s no chance, but if you say something you never know where it may lead.
You might be an introvert if you were ready to go home before you left the house. -Criss Jami
What would happen if one day you decided you just “didn’t feel like” going to work? Would you still have a job if you acted on these negative feelings? It’s highly unlikely.
You went because you wanted to get a result; money to pay the bills, go on a trip, etc.
Too many guys allow their feelings at the moment to dictate the results they get in the future. Everything you’re doing right now will determine where you end up.
To get some inspiration to start now, check out How to Kill Procrastination Without Any Effort.
Confidence is not, 'They will like me'. Confidence instead is, 'I'll be fine if they don't'. -Christina Grimmie
If you develop these social habits you’ll be able to take advantage of a lot more opportunities. Guys who don’t have these habits will miss opportunities because they’re not conditioned to respond to them.
Most guys react to opportunities in a way that prevents them from getting dates. Walking down the street, they see a beautiful woman, and they look away shyly. That’s not how to meet women.
Instead of a palm-print on your own face, you could have a hot girl’s phone number. If you make a habit of catching opportunities, you’ll never have to worry about not getting dates.
You can’t climb the ladder of success with your hands in your pockets. -Arnold Schwarzenegger
Women love confidence. If your body language is submissive, it will turn them off. Show that you’re confident with your body language, even if you don’t feel that way.
You’ll not only communicate to others about who you are, you will also communicate to yourself about who you think you are. Acting confident makes you confident.
If you walk with your shoulders rolled forward, hands in your pockets, eyes on the ground, you’ll feel bad about yourself. If you walk with your head tall, shoulder’s back, and make eye contact, you’ll feel strong.
I know far too many grown men who still smell like reeking teens, and whether they know it or not, their odor problem is wreaking havoc on their personal relationships, their business prospects, and the respect people give them. -Nathan Fifield
If you want to succeed at meeting women, you need to make a good first impression. A first impression can only be good if you don’t turn her off with your grooming and your style. If you’re on top of your game, you can make a big impact.
Always make sure your nails are trimmed short (hands and feet), and there is zero dirt underneath. She might not see your nails immediately, but nothing will ruin a good rapport like gross fingers.
A buddy of mine who’s a coach had to drag his client to the store to buy a nail clipper. It may not seem like a big deal, but women notice.
You don’t have to be a sartorial expert to make a good impression. Just a few simple principles will keep you looking good.
Wear clothing that fits. Baggy, ill-fitting clothing just looks bad. If you wear something that fits, women will notice you and you’ll have more confidence.
Don’t forget the shoes. Spend the money on getting a couple nice pairs of shoes, both for dressy and casual situations. You might not think about it, but women notice.
Make sure you don’t have stains on your clothing, and that you’re always wearing clean underwear. It’s not just for the women you might meet, but if you don’t even have the self respect to stay clean you certainly won’t feel the confidence to meet women.
Your hair says a lot about how well you take care of yourself. Try to get regular haircuts and work on maintaining a nice looking hairstyle.
Greasy, unkempt hair is the trademark of a slob. Wash your hair daily. Also TRIM YOUR NOSE HAIR. You’ll send dates running if there are Anacondas creeping out of your nose.
When a woman is talking to you, listen to what she says with her eyes. -Victor Hugo
The most common question I get is “What do I say?” or “How am I to meet women if I’m bad at small talk?” The short answer is say almost anything.
The long answer is that there are specific things you can say to open conversations, and some tricks so you never “run out of things to say.” Talking to strangers is a skill that you can develop, whether you’re speaking to women or men.
The basic rule of thumb is focus on the girl. Whether on an approach or a date, keep the conversation about her and you’ll be golden. Find great first date tips here.
If you’re not good at keeping the conversation going, use empathetic responses to her comments to keep her talking. That is, summarize what she just said and interpret her emotions about it.
For example, If she talks happily about growing up in the country, you can respond this way. “It sounds like you loved growing up in farm country.” She’ll talk your ear off, and she’ll think you are paying attention to her.
Women LOVE it.
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I'm the founder of Conquer & Win, and since 2011 I've been helping guys get into great relationships, build their core values as men, and become confident. I'm published on Lifehack, Order of Man, POF and many more. I want to help you get socially confident and live to your full potential. Feel free to contact me here.
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