How To Help Someone Overcome Shyness

Are you wondering how to help someone overcome shyness?

Maybe it's a close friend or a family member, and you see how it's affecting their social life and you want to help them get out of that.

If so, keep reading. In this post, I'm going to explain:

  • The best way to help someone overcome shyness
  • How to understand a shy person better

And so much more. Let's jump into it:

How To Help Someone Overcome Shyness

Here's some prerequisites to helping someone overcome their shyness:

#1. They Have To Desire A Change

This will only work if they want to change. They have to want it for themselves.

There's no way to convince them. They have to be sure they want to do it, because it requires some pain.

#2. They Need To Get Out Of Their Comfort Zone

They need to be willing to get uncomfortable, because overcoming shyness has to do with getting out of their comfort zone and being uncomfortable in general.

It's not a comfortable thing when you're shy and you're making yourself go do things that you're not used to, but it has a big benefit in the end.

#3. They Have To Be Willing To Exercise Their Social Skills

They should be willing to talk to people and pay attention to what they're doing and keep practicing until they get it right, or until they start feeling more confident and less shy.

If that sounds like your shy friend or your shy family member, then you can try some of these different methods.

Methods To Help Someone Overcome Shyness

Quick note: you're going to have to adjust this depending on the severity of their shyness.

Some people with severe social anxiety will find it a lot more difficult and take more time. They're probably going to need smaller baby steps.

However, if they have some kind of basic shyness where they're still able to get out and do things, this is going to work a lot better:

#1. Make A Plan Of Attack

Learn about any insecurities and then make a plan of attack.

They could be insecure about their body perhaps, about not being healthy enough, or they're getting bad sleep maybe and therefore they feel tired all the time.

Whatever their weak spots are, they're going to need to be able to identify these.

You could help them make a plan of attack and overcome these, because that's going to build some confidence as well.

If their style is off and they feel insecure about that, that's an easy thing as well. You go to the store, check out some clothing.

It doesn't have to be expensive, but whatever it is, there are small improvements like this which can help build someone's confidence and make them feel less shy.

#2. Introduce Them To Your Friends

If you have other friends that they're not familiar with, bring them along when you go out with those friends and introduce them.

That's going to help them overcome their shyness by getting more social practice.

It'll be a little bit more comfortable because you know them already and you know these other friends, so it's kind of a trusted circle.

#3. Invite Them Out To Social Events

If you have a chance to invite them to social events or anything like that where there's going to be a lot of strangers around, that would be perfect.

It'd be the perfect chance for them to go to talk to strangers and get more comfortable being around them.

#4. Don't Let Them Get Out Of A Social Task

If they make you do anything that has to do with face to face interactions with other people, don't let them.

For example, if the pizza is being delivered and they say "hey, can you go get it?" It's because they want to avoid talking to the pizza guy.

No, they gotta go do it. They need that practice.

#5. Body Language

If you observe that your friend has their hands in their pockets all the time or they're always looking at the ground or frowning, that's something that will make them feel less confident.

That's why you're going to want to point it out to them, and say something like:

"Hey, you're exhibiting this non-confident body language and that's probably making you more shy."

#6. Encourage Them To Get Coaching Or Professional Help

Depending on the severity of their shyness and the kind of progress they're making, it may be a good thing if they get professional help.

They can get a coach, such as myself, which helps guys build their confidence and meet women.

Or they can get another kind of professional who's going to help them deal with their shyness and deal with any personal insecurities.

For more info on shyness, check out this post.

Methods To Help Someone Overcome Shyness (Summary)

These are some methods you can try out with your friend or family member who needs help overcoming shyness:

  1. Make a plan of attack: help them identify their weak spots and make a plan of attack to work on them
  2. Introduce them to your friends: it’s going to be helpful for them to get more social practice
  3. Invite them out to social events: it’ll be the perfect opportunity for them to get more comfortable around strangers
  4. Don't let them get out of a social task: don’t let them talk you into getting out of doing face to face interactions with other people 
  5. Body language: point out when you see them displaying non-confident body language 
  6. Encourage them to get coaching or professional help: help them find a coach or professional who will help them make positive progress with their shyness

Have you got any questions or comments? Leave them below. 

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