How To Get Over First Date Anxiety (Try this)

Do you want to learn how to get over first date anxiety?

Although it's completely normal to be nervous before a first date, if it's overwhelming, it can ruin your first impressions and ruin your chances for a second date.

Here's what you'll learn on this post:

  • Some kickass methods to calm your anxiety before your first date
  • How to make the right impression that turns into a second date

And a lot more. Let's get into it.

How To Get Over First Date Anxiety

Let's start with what you can do to have the perfect first date mindset to feel more confident and less nervous:

#1. Be Your Nervous Self

Being yourself is always the best option when it comes to dating. However, it comes with a caveat.

It's really hard to be yourself when you're nervous because which self are you showing?

It's obvious that you're going to be showing the nervous self, and you may be showing some behaviors that you don't normally have.

You may behave in a way that's not the normal you, but no matter what, avoid pretending to be somebody else.

Be whoever you are in the moment, and that includes being your anxious self. With more experience, this anxious self will be much less anxious and much less nervous, and you'll be a lot more confident on your first dates.

However, by letting go of expectations of how you should be, you're much more likely to be relaxed. That'll make the date go a lot better because your natural personality will shine through.

#2. Don't Be Attached To First Date Outcomes

Instead of aiming for a relationship or to complete some sort of objective, just aim to have fun.

A first date is just about getting to know her, so you're going to want to take some of that pressure off of yourself.

You may feel like she's interviewing you for a job, but look at it this way: you're actually interviewing her, too.

Of course, you aren't really "interviewing" her, you never want to interview your date. What you're there to see is whether she's worth a second date or not.

It's not just about her choice. You're not trying to be there to impress her, you're there to see if you actually like her too. And if the date doesn't go well, then next.

How To Calm Your Anxiety Before A First Date

Now, here's a list of different ideas to calm your anxiety before a first date:

#1. First Date Breathing

Take a deep breath with a slow exhale, and this will literally calm your nerves.

#2. Meditate

Practice mindfulness techniques like meditation. Obviously not on your first date, but you can do this before your date.

#3. Have A Good Workout

Having a good workout before your first date can help you get rid of excess energy you've accumulated during the day. That will definitely lead to you being more relaxed.

#4. Get A Massage

Consider getting a massage on the day of or the day before your first date. This will get any knots out of your muscles, and you'll feel much more relaxed.

#5. Seek Support

Seek support from a friend or family member. Having a quick call before your date can make things go much smoother.

#6. Try Visualization

Try out some visualization techniques to imagine your date going well and put yourself into a good, positive mindset.

#7. Get A Good Night's Sleep

Make sure you have a good sleep the night before your date, because it's going to make it much easier to deal with any kind of anxieties or nervousness.

#8. Plan A Casual Date

Go for a casual date instead of something that's expensive and too formal.

This will take some of the pressure off your shoulders, and you won't have to spend so much money either.

#9. Give Yourself A Break

You're just human. You're going to make mistakes, and that's okay.

And even if you make mistakes on your date, chances are she's still going to like you. You do not have to be perfect on your dates to make them work.

#10. Use Positive Self-talk

This is basically coaching yourself, telling you to get in there, get the job done, make things happen.

Every time a negative voice pops in your head, you're going to want to counter that negative voice with positive self-talk.

#11. Have A Sense Of Humor

Make some jokes on your date. You don't want to be a clown and be joking non-stop. Unless you're a really great comedian, then maybe.

But some jokes can definitely break the ice and make things a lot more calm and relaxed.


Now, here are some common questions about first date anxiety:

Is first date anxiety normal?

First date anxiety is very normal. Most people will experience it on some level, including the attractive woman you're going to be going on a date with.

How do I calm my anxiety on a date?

Try breathing, meditation, visualization, or even having a workout before your date to get rid of some of that excess energy.

How do I stop overthinking on my first date?

Try focusing on your date herself. Get to know her. Find out what makes her tick, what motivates her, and what she's interested in.

Don't talk about things superficially, make an effort to actually dig below the surface and find out what she really likes.

To learn more about first dates, check out this post.


To learn how to get over first date anxiety, there are two main points to consider:

Steps to have the right first date mindset

  1. Be your nervous self: even if you’re nervous and showing behaviors you normally don’t have, always let your natural personality shine through
  2. Don't be attached to first date outcomes: remember that you’re there to just have fun and get to know her more so you can see if you actually like her

Steps to calm your anxiety before a first date:

  1. First date breathing: calm your nerves by taking deep breaths with slow exhales
  2. Meditate: practice mindfulness techniques like meditation before your date to help you relax
  3. Have a good workout: it can help you get rid of excess energy you've accumulated during the day
  4. Get a massage: it’ll get any knots out of your muscles, and you'll feel much more relaxed
  5. Seek support: having your family or friends back you up will always make things go much smoother
  6. Try visualization: put yourself into a good, positive mindset so you can have a really great date
  7. Get a good night's sleep: it’ll be easier to deal with any kind of anxieties or nervousness
  8. Plan a casual date: you’ll get some of the pressure off of your shoulders, and you also won’t spend a lot of money. It’s a win-win situation
  9. Give yourself a break: you’re human, you’re not supposed to be perfect. Even if you make mistakes on your date, chances are she's still going to like you
  10. Use positive self-talk: coach yourself so you can replace negative thoughts for positive ones as time goes on
  11. Have a sense of humor: joking around a bit with her can definitely help to break the ice and have a calmer environment

Have you got any comments or questions? Leave them below.

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