I really like this girl but she wouldn’t give me her number on the two occasions that I’ve met her in person. Being the determined guy that I am, I asked my friends to get her number for me instead.
However, my first call to her ended with her telling me, “I don’t have the time to talk to you.”
I persisted though, so I’ve been chatting her up on WhatsApp since December of last year. I think I’ve been starting to get through to her because she’s now responding to my messages, but she still won’t answer any personal questions!
Because of that, I can’t find a common interest between us that I can leverage. It’s driving me crazy.
Can you tell me what goes on in ladies’ minds? I’ve been searching online for tips because I love challenges and I don’t want to give up on this one, but I admit I’m starting to wonder if she thinks I’m pressuring her to go out with me.
What's your take on this? How do I proceed with her? Do you have any experiences similar to this that I can relate to?- -
-Persistent on WhatsApp
Hey Persistent on Whatsapp,
Dating and desperation are not a good combo. It's a big dating mistake many guys make.
I'd suggest leaving her alone because it’s obvious she's not interested. In fact, what you're doing is a guaranteed way to get a girl to not like you.
Right now you're wasting your time and mental energy, and are borderline stalking her. When a girl won't give you her phone number, don't run behind her back and get it from her friends.
You're infatuated with her is because you don't have other options.
A man with options doesn't waste his time chasing a girl who isn't interested because he knows there is going to be another, and another, and another girl who will date him.
Obsession with a woman is never flattering.
It demonstrates a lot of neediness and desperation, and these are qualities which push women away. It makes you look like you have nothing else going on, both personally and professionally. It's exactly the opposite of what you want to do to attract high-quality women.
This is how you can fix your problem:
Other things you should do:
Get busy with your professional life: Have you always dreamed about starting a business? Do it. Want a better career? Get training. Want a raise or promotion? Figure out how to make that happen.
Focus on social skills and confidence building: You'll get far more long-term benefits by developing your social skills (conversation starters, leading conversations, connection building, creating attraction, etc.) and confidence (the ability to act in spite of fear, courage, balls, social competence, etc.) than you ever will by chasing one girl.
Social skills and confidence will help you professionally and personally, with both romantic relationships and with friendships.
A man who has things going on in his life is far more attractive to women than a guy who obsesses over one woman and chases her endlessly even though she's already given him a firm "no.”
This kind of guy is also in demand because women see that he is desired by other women, and this creates scarcity, which increases value. It's basic economics.
A guy who nobody wants is available anytime, isn't scarce, and holds no relationship value. If nobody else wants you then why would she?
If you want to know how to get a girl to like you, then build your value as a man, for yourself, and women will start to notice you.
It's a side effect of creating your ideal life but it shouldn't be your main goal. Don't do everything for women or you'll be caught in the trap of trying to impress other people which usually does the opposite of getting women to notice you.