Do you want to meet a woman in a low key, low risk of virtually rejection-free scenario? I want to talk about one of the simplest ways to meet women, to start conversations that will help you get dates and is virtually rejection free.
So stay tuned and keep watching the video. One of my favorite ways to get dates is by using something I call an Observation Opener. All you're doing basically is making an observation on something that's relevant in the situation you're in.
And I've gotten tons of dates this way just by grocery shopping or grabbing coffee and shopping in different stores virtually everywhere that you can start conversations with this open or pretty much everywhere.
And this is an interactive approach that's a lot less ballsy than actually approaching a woman directly and telling her you like her because she's attractive. And it also helps you be more versatile than the guy who can only go direct.
There's a lot of situations where you don't want to be direct because it's going to be socially awkward or just inappropriate for that scenario. But if you add this to your toolbox, you'll be much more versatile and be able to start conversations with a lot more women and get a lot more dates.
And if you're just going direct, it will also help you become a better conversationalist, because to make this work, you have to be able to lead a conversation in a direction that's going to help you make a connection with the women you're talking to.
First, on the part about rejection, you can minimize rejection because of the fact that you're going to filter out uninterested girls. Because when you do this when you make these observation openers to people you're going to get a certain response from them.
And it's either going to be interested or uninterested when they're not interested. You can just continue on your merry way and so can they. And nothing bad has happened.
You can gauge your interest right away. And most of the time when this has worked for me and for my clients, it was very effortless and the women actually would continue the conversation herself.
And so what is an observation opener? It basically is if you see something in front of you, and it should be the simplest thing that's right in front of you, literally, whatever there is in the environment, whatever you're looking at or whatever they're looking at.
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For example, you're in a grocery store and she's looking at the soup and you're looking at the soup and she's studying the cans. This is something you'll see often in the grocery store, you're probably doing it yourself too. You're looking at labels and reading the ingredients and trying to figure out if it's the right product for you.
In a situation like that, often common to say that it's hard to find the right products or there's too many choices to make a decision and similar comments like that.
And they can relate to it automatically because they're in that situation right now. They're studying the labels and trying to figure out what they want to get.
And that may sound like an interesting comment to you and that's because it is. And you don't need an interesting comment to get a conversation started.
Also read: How to Meet Women
That's one of the biggest mistakes guys make, is when they think they need something really interesting to say or smart or funny or witty. And you don't need any of that.
You just want to focus on the most simple thing that's right there in front of you. What happens when guys try to think of something smart or funny is that they don't do anything because usually that thought doesn't pop in their head.
And now they're putting pressure on themselves to say something smart or funny and the opportunity passes and it's done. Instead, you should be saying the first thing that pops into your head, whatever it is right there in front of you and your brain will always come up with something to say.
That's what it is made for. Obviously, you have to get off of the topic of the soup or the chips or whatever it is you made a comment on or in the environment you're in and move into a conversation about her in order to learn about her and to make a connection.
As well as that, you have to have some intent behind what you're saying. It's not just what you say, it's how you said. You want to give off that friend vibe where you're just like friendly to everybody and overly polite.
You have to have some intent. You have to feel attracted to her and let it shine through your facial expressions. Your voice, your body language will automatically adjust.
When you're attracted to somebody, you don't really have to do anything. You want to micromanage every single thing you're doing in order to make it work. You want to project that attraction at her without being overt.
Nothing wrong to do with being overt, giving a little wink or anything like that. But naturally, when you're attracted to her, if you let it shine through, you could be talking about anything.
It doesn't matter what, but if you allow that attraction to shine through, you're going to create a little bit of chemistry automatically from that. And obviously not everyone will be receptive to that.
And that's OK.
But as long as you have that intent behind your words, it will be much much more effective when you're not going to come across the overly polite guy to everybody you talk to which is not going to turn on anyone.
And another point, you don't expect too much when you start doing this, when you start making comments. Most people are just going to reply back to you. But like, oh, yeah, that's true. Or they're going to move on in their merry way.
They're not going to continue the conversation with you. They're not going to be super receptive. But they will reply to you, right?
Everyone's going to replay typically, if you're relevant in the situation. But the ones who are receptive, the ones who do reply back to you and give you a bit of a smile or they seem very chatty.
Those are ones you continue on with. Those are the ones you continue building up the conversation with and try to create that chemistry.
So let me summarize everything here so you can know.
Number one, you're in a situation, we're going to say, the grocery store. She's looking at steak and you want to get some steak, too. So you're going to plant yourself nearby, but not in her bubble, but you going to be fairly nearby where it's easy to say something she's going to hear you.
Number two, make a comment on whatever you see that's right there. For example, if I see somebody studying the steak really intently, I might say something like, 'it looks like you have a system to figure out which is the best steak'.
Super simple, not interesting comment. Again, it doesn't have to be, but that gets it started. I'm going to see if there's any interest from her, whether she wants to continue being chatty or not. I expect she will reply. She's going to probably say, 'oh, yeah, I'm just trying to find something nice for dinner'.
And then she grabs a steak and goes, Right, I'm going to leave it at that. That's fine. But if she responds very warmly, maybe a smile, maybe laugh a little bit, then I might go a little bit further and maybe ask a question.
And maybe make another comment and see where it goes from there. And if she's really receptive, then she'll probably add a lot to that conversation already. She'll start telling me a bunch of stuff about her selection process or whatever it is for that scenario.
And number three, you have to leave the conversation in a direction that becomes something about her and not just be talking about steak the whole time.
Otherwise, if you ask her out after a conversation about steak, it's going to be kind of out of place because you were just talking about steak and now you're asking her on a date.
It doesn't really connect very well. But if you learn something about her through the conversation, you find out what she does for work and why she does it and maybe some of her other interest, possibly.
Now, before you go, it's going to make more sense when you ask her out because you learned something about her and she probably learned something about you in the conversation, too. And how do you do that? It can be a little more complicated, something you really have to fill out from experience.
But usually I look for things like when they give me information, for example, like they say, oh, yeah, I'm getting steak because my family is visiting from out of town.
That's a very easy segue there too, you know, where's your family from or are you from there, too? And then you can go build up the conversation from there. It becomes a lot easier because she already gave you the information and you can make it to ask a question about it. She told you about it already.
If she doesn't say something like that, well, that's going to be a whole other video because it's going to take a lot more to explain how to go into a conversation that's going to build some chemistry and learn about her when she hasn't actually given you the information up front like that.
And the final step is you have to take a chance and actually ask her out. You had a conversation, you learn something about her first and she was receptive. And why did she stay there and talk to you for a couple of minutes or so?
Now, don't walk away after making that effort because you'll never know what could have been if you just asked her out.
So just keep it simple. Be assertive.
Ask her if she wants to just suggest that you guys have a coffee some time, say, hey, I got to get going, but we should have coffee sometime.
And at that point, if we did a good job during the conversation, you were able to read her. Well, then she's probably going to say, yes.
And if she says no, no big deal. You just had a conversation. You ask somebody out, made the effort, she isn't flattered and then you're going to move on and she's move on too. No big deal.
But it is a big deal when you miss these opportunities and you don't attempt to ask women out because you're scared of them saying no. No is not a bad thing. No is OK. And this gets a lot easier if you practice making observations every single day. You basically have to be like '007'.
And when you walk into a room, you see everything, you see all the details, because the more details you see in a situation and more things you hear, the more things you have to start a conversation with.
And it gets easier and easier to start conversations with women when you see everything in there in front of you. It's shocking how much detail people miss when they walk into a room or into any environment and all the things they don't see.
And this can obviously apply in a negative way to dangerous situations, too, because people don't see the dangers around them, including people walking across the street looking at their cell phone. They don't see anything. But if you're observant, it becomes very easy. Just a snap of a finger to make a comment on something and start a conversation.
And one of the tricks to make this work and that is good at this, is to be social with everyone. Don't just be social to women you are attracted to. It's also less likely that you actually will be social when you're attracted to someone because you're not going to be very confident about saying anything to them.
But if you're social on a daily basis, you're always talking to people, if you're always making comments and things you see to anybody who is nearby, doesn't matter if it's an old man or a woman you're not attracted to or a girl you are attracted to. You'll get tons of practice and you'll get good at this.
Now, I'm going to summarize exact steps again so you have something easy to follow.
You might be thinking, well, if I make a comment about the soup or whatever she's looking at, then how do I get a date out of that?
Well, that's where being good at a conversation comes into the picture. And something I've already mentioned, but it requires extra attention is focusing on her, learning about her, having natural curiosity to get to know the person you just met.
What happens with a lot of guys when they're self-conscious is that they'll be thinking about what to do next and they'll be thinking about their response instead of actually listening to what she's saying.
Usually in a conversation, if you want to be really good at leading it, you have to hear and understand what the other person is saying.
Also read: How to Handle Rejection From Women
Well, guys, when they're being self-conscious, they'll be focusing on the next thing they're saying and they'll completely miss everything that she just told him.
And the conversation will go nowhere because they're not going to be building up on the different threads of a different topic thread that she presented to him, which makes for an easy conversation and an easy connection builder, if you're listening.
Plus, if you're overly self-conscious and you're not listening to what she's saying, you're probably not paying attention to the social cues either.
And this is, again, another opportunity to be creepy because you don't even understand the situation or see what's unfolding right in front of you.
A bit of if she's uncomfortable or she's trying to move away, or you're in one of those conversations where you're talking, talking, talking, and she actually just wants to go.
You're not going to notice that because you're just thinking about yourself. So put your attention back on her and it will make you feel more confident because you're not going to be thinking the whole time about yourself.
I want to know what you think. Leave a comment and let me know or anything I missed or there's other situations where a guy can come across as creepy to women or a woman can come across as creepy to a man.
And until next time, Conquer and Win.
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