How To Get A Girlfriend If You're Ugly

How to get a girlfriend if you're ugly?

If you're reading this post, then it's pretty self-explanatory what you're here to know.

However, the ways to overcome this challenge and attract the kind of woman you want may not be as straightforward as just becoming good looking.

In this post, you'll learn:

  • How to improve your looks
  • How to attract women even if you're ugly
  • How to get into a relationship regardless of your looks

And so much more. Let's jump into it.

Am I Too Ugly To Get A Girlfriend?

Firstly, probably not. It kind of depends on your standards and a bunch of other factors, too.

Too many guys act like all women are looking for these super jacked, model-looking dudes, and that's just not true.

If you think that's the standard or maybe you're watching too many Instagram videos, that may be causing your problems in your dating life.

Maybe you feel unattractive now, but how much more good looking would you have to be in reality to get a girlfriend?

Maybe you can't get a model, but you really don't need a model to be happy.

You just need to match who you're attracted to and someone who has the same kind of lifestyle ambitions that you have.

The success of your future relationships depends on a lot more than just looks, and that includes your looks. So stop obsessing over them.

Now, having said that, anything is possible for you. Maybe you will get models.

I had a client in England and his goal was literally to date models and he ended up doing that.

He was actually a very good looking guy, but that wasn't the reason he got models.

The reason he got models is because he started going after them, he started asking him on dates, he started approaching them and learning the skills and the confidence to do so.

And of course, his looks probably helped too. Because hey, it is a given. Looks do have an effect, but they are not everything.

How you feel about your looks will have a major effect on your confidence, which will help you attract and approach women in the first place. 

It’s why improving your looks is probably one of the easiest ways to build your confidence to begin with.

How To Get A Girlfriend If You're Ugly

Now, you might be ugly, but it's not likely that this is the only obstacle you're facing with dating.

Attraction between men and women works differently depending on which side of the coin you're on.

If you're a man, you're 100% focused on looks. That initial physical attraction is really vital.

Women do like looks, but that's not the only factor for them when they're attracted to men. It's about our behavior, how we act, our confidence.

Let's go into some other factors (other than confidence) that affect attraction.

But first, I'll explain a quick list about the different things that are going to affect attraction for you when you're trying to attract women:

  1. Confidence
  2. Assertiveness
  3. Social skills

How To Attract Women Even If You’re Ugly

#1. Confidence

This is going to be the end result of a lot of other things. Your confidence is going to be built up in different ways.

For example, you can try doing something that other people might not do to show you're bolder than they are and that you're willing to take a chance.

However, if you become a bolder man, you need to stop being a people pleaser. Because if you are, you're really not going to please anyone. It looks kind of fake.

Also, when you start trying to be more confident, you need to remember that taking care of your mental and physical health is key. This includes cutting out negative friends or media, as they affect your outlook in life. 

Taking care of these points will help that confidence and that self-assured personality go a long way to attract women, because women don't want to be around a guy who's unsure of himself.

How is that guy going to be a protector for her, or even get anything done?

If you don't have confidence to get anything done or you don't have confidence around her, it's not going to be great for your dating resumé.

#2. Social Skills

Social skills are how you connect with people.

It's your eye contact, it's your body language, it's how you use your voice, it's how you lead a conversation, and even how you listen.

All these factors are really important when you want to communicate with somebody and attract a woman.

#3. Assertiveness

Also related to boldness, the more assertive you are, the more likely you are also to be a bold man (bold, not bald. Nothing to do with hair).

Being assertive means you're going to ask for what you want or you're going to express yourself in some way to get what you want.

To become a more assertive man, you need to stop being a doormat and start prioritizing your boundaries.  If someone steps over them, you  walk away and stand up for yourself.

#4. Stop Focusing On Women

That will affect your dating life as well.

You'll have other things going on and you'll feel more confident because you're getting things done, you're achieving your goals, going after what you want.

#5. Learning How To Approach Women

By learning how to actually approach women, you're going to open up a lot of dating options for you that's going to explode your dating life. In a good way, I mean.

Your dating life is going to blow up and you're going to learn a lot of social skills, confidence, and get a lot of experience, which are all things that are going to help your dating life.

How Do You Improve Your Looks To Get Into A Relationship

I left this for last because it's the least important thing, but it is still important.

Your self perception of being ugly is more damaging than being ugly itself.

You're not going to get out there, you're not going to talk to women, you're not going to go ask anyone out if you feel really down on yourself.

To get a quick confidence boost, work on your looks. Some of the things on the list I'm going to go over right now are quicker than others.

Others require more long term commitment, but they all work together to make you more attractive.

#1. Workout

Lifting weights will help you put on some muscle and probably also help you burn some fat. 

Additionally, having an active lifestyle and getting outdoors with activities like running is going to also help you continue that trend of burning fat and getting a little bit leaner.

#2. Develop Healthy Habits

Eating healthy will affect the running and the weight lifting and your energy to help you become more physically attractive.

Another key point to a healthy lifestyle is sleeping well. Sleep will affect anxiety, depression, your energy levels, even how intelligent you are.

If you get good sleep, you're going to feel better and more confident just from getting those hours in.

#3. Improve Your General Style

This is probably the quickest, easiest thing that you could do to boost your looks, depending on your physical condition. 

The more fit you are, the easier it’s going to be to get a style which looks really good on you.

If you're really overweight or you're really skinny, it's not as easy to get clothing that looks as good on you. You want a good form for that form-fitting clothing.

But regardless, whether you're overweight or underweight or whatever, it doesn't really matter.

You can still get clothing that's going to look better on you than what you're wearing right now. Basically, just dress on purpose.

Dress with a picture of style in mind. Go out there, don’t just throw on some jogging pants or whatever.

Style is a really big topic, so I'm not going to tell you what good style is. Go talk to somebody you trust or go talk to someone in a retail store or an attractive woman and see what they think.

Another huge part about style is grooming. If you have a beard, make sure it's trimmed.

Make sure you have a beard on purpose and that it's not just a big scruff. 

Also, cut your hair, and make sure to  shower and trim your nails and deal with nose hair or any other weird hairs that will pop up.

I had a client come over here and we did a bootcamp, and I was kind of surprised on the first day because he came pretty well un-groomed.

He hadn't had a haircut in probably a couple of months and he didn't intend to his beard.

I got him to do that the first day. He went to a barber and he looked like a different guy the next day, he looked like he was on purpose.

And he was much more attractive, and he was getting much better results with the women he was talking to.

#4. Take Care Of Your Oral Health

Taking care of your teeth is related to hygiene as well, obviously brushing, flossing, all those basic things a couple of times a day.

And I'm not talking about having perfect teeth, because I definitely don't have perfect teeth. It's not going to matter that much.

As long as you don't have a tooth that's growing from your bottom jaw right through your skull, you'll probably be okay. 

In line with oral health, smiling more will definitely make you more attractive. If you have a frowny face, girls and other people are not going to respond that great to you.

By smiling, by showing some positive emotions, people will respond more positively to you and you look more attractive.

#5. Body Language

If you have your hands in your pockets, if your shoulders are rolled forward. If you're crain necking looking at the ground, all these things look very like you lack confidence. They're going to make you physically look less attractive, too. 

Because you're not going to be as physically attractive when your body contorted in kind of a weird posture.

Shoulders rolled forward and neck being craned and looking down, hands out of your pockets.

You're going to make yourself shorter by doing all these things too.

You're not going to have as broad of shoulders, which is more attractive physically to women. So keep your head up, look straight ahead, don't walk around looking at the ground.

A lot of posture problems will require exercise though, so it goes back to weight training.

There's lots of different exercises, not necessarily lifting heavy weights, but just doing the proper exercises for your back as well as stretches too.

I know I've made a huge improvement in my own posture by stretching out my traps and neck because I had a lot of tension and stiffness. It was contorting my posture.

Basically, it made it harder for me to stand straight and tall, so I had to work at it. But after the stretches, it made a massive difference.

It was easier to stand naturally and keep my shoulders back and not doing weird shrugs and stuff like that.

But the first step, obviously is just being conscious of it, but then go into the exercises as well and the stretches.

And now the next section. When improving looks can't fix your confidence: I'll call this plastic surgery syndrome.

What Happens If Looks Can’t Fix Your Confidence

Sometimes improving your looks will not make you feel better. There are a lot of examples of this. 

There are a lot of extremes where people keep getting one body modification or plastic surgery after another, after another, until they become freakish.

There's also other conditions too, like anorexia and other eating disorders where it  doesn't matter how skinny you are or how good looking, you'll never be good looking enough.

So, you're not going to get happy by getting better looking or trying to.

A lot of people really hate themselves and as a result this causes a lot of self-harm.

If that's your problem, you're not going to be able to fix it by getting better looking.

And if that happens to you, it'd be a good idea to go to a counselor or other professionals who can help you with your self image.

However for most people making some minor changes, getting fitter, changing your clothing and grooming will go a long way to make you more attractive, and feel more attractive too.

But hey, look at the big picture and decide what you want. 

Usually doing some quick changes will make a big difference in your confidence levels and how attractive you are to the opposite sex, as well as how attractive you feel.

Summary

Here are the key steps to attract women (and get a girlfriend) even if you’re ugly and how to improve your looks:

How to attract women even if you’re ugly

  1. Confidence: women want a man who’s sure of himself and his abilities
  2. Social skills: pay attention to every detail that goes into how you connect with people, from your eye contact to your voice
  3. Assertiveness: know what you want and have the confidence to go get it done
  4. Stop focusing on women: work on achieving your goals and getting what you want
  5. Learning how to approach women: this will help you have better social skills and improve your dating life by getting more experience 

How do you improve your looks to get into a relationship

  1. Workout: get outdoors and workout consistently, it’ll help you lose some fat and put on some muscle
  2. Develop healthy habits: it’ll add to the physical activity and help you become more attractive
  3. Improve your general style: this is the easiest thing you can do. Dress on purpose and get haircuts regularly
  4. Take care of your oral health: you don’t need to have perfect teeth to smile more. If you take care of your oral health, it’ll make you more attractive
  5. Body language: keep your head up, look straight ahead and don't walk around looking at the ground

If you have any comments or questions, make sure to leave them below.

Do you want a "personal trainer" for your love life? 

Then you need to look into a dating coach, who will help you develop the social confidence skills that you need. Learn more about the way I work  here.

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