How to approach women in bars?
There are many ways you can do it. And I'm going to tell you about the best ones.
In this post, you'll learn:
And a lot more. Keep reading to learn more:
I'll tell you one of my personal stories that resulted in a disaster. There was an attractive Asian girl sitting at a table with her friends. It was a mixed table (guys and girls).
There was an open seat right beside her, so I walked over. And when I sat down, I proceeded to knock her glass right off the table…
Luckily, there was no drink in it, but still, I made quite an entrance. So, of course, her friends started laughing.
It's kind of a worst-case scenario, walking in and getting laughed at by a group of people because of my entrance. And I was stuck, I had just arrived.
It's like "Okay, well, what do I do now? Should I run away?" Of course not. I hadn't even had the chance to chat with her, there was still a slim chance that something could happen.
I tried chatting with her, but it was obvious from her facial expression that she wasn't into "Mr. Smooth". So, after a few minutes, I left and wished her a good night.
What's the lesson here? Basically, always keep it cool. It doesn't matter what happens when you go and approach, you can make a mistake and still recover.
I've had many mistakes on approaches before, and it still worked out. A lot of the time it's going to work out just because you're showing some courage, and keeping it cool.
Even though I knocked her glass off the table, I laughed along with her friends and I stayed in there to try to make it work. And hey, it was funny, right? Obviously it was, I had to laugh along with them.
When you show courage, there's always a chance you're going to attract the girl. Girls aren't attracted to passive guys who crumble after the first sign of resistance.
And that's what happened there. It wasn't resistance that she initiated, it was something I did. Still, it could have worked out. In this case it didn't, but very often as long as you stick in there, it will.
Now, for some more details on approaching groups:
You can go and sit down, like in the story I told you about before.
If there's an open seat, go sit down, introduce yourself. You can cheers the group or you can even go in and ask questions. Ask them what they're celebrating or what the event is.
You're going to want to address the group, or the first person that you come in contact with. This person doesn't need to be the girl you're interested in.
You're going to work your way around the group and make yourself over to her. Or, you could go straight to the girl you want to approach, like I did.
Once you start chatting with the girl you're interested in, start finding out about her. Be genuinely curious: ask her what she does, ask her what she likes.
Or, you can be simple and ask her about her drink. But, make sure you steer it in the direction to learn something about her as you go along. You can only chat about her drink for so long.
And then rinse and repeat. Go try different tables. Not every table will accept you, because some are going to be more private than others. But, there will be tables who are looking for a party and to meet other people.
As long as you go in with a good attitude, you're going to be finding lots of groups and singles that are open to chatting. And you're going to easily be able to engage with them.
Keep it cool, don't react to the circumstances and don't take yourself too seriously. That's pretty much it. Having that attitude will take you a long way for bar approaches.
You want to go in with the right attitude and have fun. If you're having fun, you're way more likely to attract the girls that you're approaching there.
Even if you make mistakes or do funny things, it doesn't matter. You can still have fun even if you don't walk away with the girl. You're much more likely to walk away with a girl as long as you keep a chill attitude.
You see her and make a compliment. Tell her she has a great sense of style or whatever it may be, just like for a direct approach on the street.
You can try to walk up and cheers with her. That will very often get a conversation started. And make sure you go on with a big smile when you do it.
If you make good, strong eye contact, it's very easy to go in there.
You've already introduced yourself, and she’s aware of you and interested if you made the right kind of eye contact.
For this kind of approach, it's about going in like you're friends or you already know each other. You've got to have a warm, friendly and confident attitude when you go and do that.
There's tons of different ways to do this and it really depends on your situation. But, look for something that's in your environment or something you see on her.
It could be anything: some kind of behavior, or something about her smile. Go in and start talking about it. The key to making it work is acting like you already know each other.
Here is a summary of the best ways to approach women in bars:
Or, you could walk up and cheers with her. That will very often get a conversation started.
Another one is making eye contact before you approach, because that way, you've already introduced yourself, and she’s aware of you and interested if you made the right kind of eye contact.
And lastly, go right into a conversation when you approach her. Look for something that's in your environment or something you see on her. Go in and start talking about it. The key to making it work is acting like you already know each other.
If you've got any questions or comments, leave a comment below.
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