How To Approach Women For Sex - Everything You Need To Know

Can you actually approach women for sex?

When you approach women for sex, you need to move faster, be more direct and create a connection. Aka, a cold approach.

In this post, you'll learn:

  • How to take women home the day you met
  • What to do after an initial approach
  • How to take a conversation farther
  • How to get more women to go home with you

And much more. But first, you need specific skills to make it work. Keep reading to learn what they are:

Keep Your Goal In Mind

You need to have the right focus when you’re approaching women for sex. Don’t approach her with the intention of being her friend. 

It’s that mindset which gets a lot of guys into the friend-zone with girls they like. You don’t want to become an errand boy who always offers to do things for her. 

Focus on your needs instead. I’m not saying you need to be a mean guy either, just don't pretend to be extra friendly to get her affection. It won't work. In fact, it’s going to push her away.

Use Proper Body Language

Eye Contact 

Starting with eye contact, don’t let your eyes be darting around or looking at the ground. Keep your eyes on her eyes, ‘cause that’ll be your number one tool for creating attraction.

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Sexual Expression

Next for body language is be sexual. I don’t mean explicitly, you don’t have to talk about sex and actually, it’s better if you don’t. That usually doesn’t work when you first meet a woman.

You need to be feeling sexual when you’re talking to her instead of feeling like a friend. If you do this, you could be talking about almost anything and still project your subtle cues at her.

Now, don’t try to look sexual. That’s definitely not the point. You’re probably going to do a very bad job at that if you do. But if you feel sexual, you’ll communicate that to her and she may feel it in the form of chemistry.

Gestures and Posture

Also, stand squarely to her. You’re there, you’re engaging in a real conversation and if you approach her, it’s going to be much more powerful. 

On the other hand, if you look like you’re about to go, she’s most likely going to want to get going too.

Along the same lines, keep your hands out of your pockets. Guys never look confident when doing that – with some exceptions.

Take Her On An Instant Date

If you just approached her and you're interested in sex, take her on an instant date. To make her interested in that, though, you should build a connection first. 

Doing everything else I’ve told you about should get you well on your way to creating a connection. Use proper eye contact, body language and a strong voice. That’s going to make it much more likely for her to say yes when you invite her for coffee.

To do that, simply ask her “What are you doing right now?” and if she has some time at that moment, then you can invite her for coffee. 

In fact, it doesn’t have to be that, it could be a walk. In any case, be sure to start moving towards the place you’re going to so she can start following along with you. It’s the power of influence. 

While you’re on your date, have a good chat. Talk about her, focus on her, learn more about her. Most of the conversation should be coming from her, but you should be leading it. 

Be interactive and chatty while keeping it around 60-40. 60% of the time she's talking, 40% of the time you're talking. You should always lead the conversation in the direction you want while learning more about her. 

And don’t forget eye contact. Keep your eyes on hers as long as possible, with some natural breaks in between. About 45 minutes to an hour into the date, invite her home. 

Have a simple invite and say “Hey, let’s go back to my place” or “Let’s have a drink back at my place”. If she says no, it’s very easy to deal with. She’ll either make an excuse or she’ll simply say no. Whichever the case, don’t react to it. Just be cool and keep chatting.

Alternatives To Instant Dates

Now, what are some other options for inviting a woman home besides going on an instant date? 

After you get her number from approaching, you can always invite her home by text. One time when I was coaching a bootcamp, I met a beautiful girl, we quickly connected and I took her on an instant date. 

It was a short date, but while we were there, I tried to kiss her and she didn’t reciprocate. But she also didn’t move.

After that, she had to leave, so I walked her to the bus stop. And just before she left, I got her number so I could text her later that evening. 

Long story short, she stayed over that night. All ‘cause I made a strong enough connection while I was with her on our instant date. 

Another way you can take a woman home is after starting a casual conversation at a coffee shop. It doesn’t need to be there, it could really be anywhere. 

For example, one day I was working at a coffee shop and I commented on what a woman was studying. We started chatting, and I took her on an instant date. 

About 45 minutes in, I invited her home. She didn’t say yes right away. She was surprised, and said she had to go back home and study. 

Despite that, I kept the conversation going. I told her I had to go grocery shopping, and we ended up going together. After talking more, I invited her home again and she came over. 

As a third alternative, you can do it on your approach. This is a high risk move, but it works sometimes. You should expect to have a lot of failures if you’re trying this way. It’s a lot better to go on an instant date or a date on another day.

Steps To Approach Women For Sex

Here is a guide that summarizes the specific skills you need when you approach women for sex: 

  • Keep your goal in mind: You need to have the right focus when you’re approaching women for sex, so don’t try to be her friend. Focus on your needs without pretending to be a friend to get her affection.
  • Use proper body language: Keep strong eye contact, stand squarely and think sexually. This will help you communicate your cues on a subtle level.
  • Take her on an instant date: You need to build a connection first to interest her in going on an instant date with you. While on your date, be interactive and chatty while leading the conversation. Keep strong eye contact and about 45 minutes into the date, invite her home.

And remember, besides going on an instant date, you can invite a woman home by:

  • Texting her: After you get her number from your initial approach, you can invite her home later by text. But remember, to interest her, you should build a strong connection first.  
  • Using a Casual Opener: Start a casual conversation with her at a café so you can take her on an instant date. Then, while on your date, invite her home.
  • Inviting her home directly on your approach: This is a high risk move, so it doesn’t always work. Expect a lot of failures if you’re trying it this way. It’ll be a lot better if you do it after an instant date. 

Got any questions or comments? Leave them below. 

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