How do you approach Asian women for dates and more?
In this article, you'll learn:
It's something that I see often, and it's super cringy, and women hate it when it happens.
What would that be? It’s assuming her background.
That means assuming right away that she's from another country, or that even if you know she is because you can hear an accent, you assume the wrong country.
If there's no accent, then don't ask her "what kind" of Asian she is.
Even worse, don't assume she's from another country before you even have any idea about her.
It's a terrible way to start a conversation. You're going to shoot yourself in the foot before you even get started.
It's something my wife has experienced before because her background is Asian, but she's Canadian.
And she's been spoken to in Japanese or bad Japanese by white guys before, which makes no sense at all because she has no accent, and she doesn't look Japanese.
So it's just a dumb start.
Here’s a quick cringe story along the same lines…
I was with a buddy of mine in a coffee shop, and there were two cute Asian girls sitting at a table near us.
And I could tell just by their style and their mannerisms that they were Canadian. These girls were not foreign.
And my buddy tries to start a conversation with them by asking where they were from, and they didn't react very well to that.
They were just like, "We're from here", and that was the end of the conversation. I cringed as soon as I heard it.
He was assuming they were from another country. He's just not very good at spotting the differences in mannerisms and style. And it's something you can learn.
People from Japan have a certain style and mannerisms, as do people from Korea and China.
But, if you're not familiar with them, if you're not studying people by watching and meeting them, it'll be very hard to tell where somebody is from.
So, don't make the assumption. Instead, talk to them like you would to any other girl.
Don't assume she's from another country until you know for sure she is.
Maybe her English isn't very good, or she has a definite accent. In that case, it's okay to ask..
Approaching Asian women from another country is the same as approaching any other woman. But there are some differences when approaching Asian women when their English level isn't very high.
If she's not a native English speaker and her English level isn't very good, then take these steps to make your communication easier:
I can't count how many times I've seen people talk with a girl who doesn't speak very good English, and they keep speaking as if they're speaking to another native English speaker. Naturally, the girl has trouble understanding them.
You've got to slow down.
Hand gestures will go a long way. I've approached women before and they couldn't understand why I was approaching. In such situations, I point at my eye and at them: “I saw you, I thought you were really cute.”
That'll go a long way to help communicate what you're trying to tell her, so she gets the message.
Don't use complicated words. Something may not seem complicated to you, but you've got to think from the perspective of an ESL speaker.
Use much simpler language. Almost like baby talk without talking like a baby.
You're not talking to a child—just make it easier for her to understand.
And that is the topic of where she's from originally.
Now, I always say “originally”because you may be speaking to someone who's been there for a while, in which case her English probably is going to be quite good. They may get insulted and think you're treating them like a tourist.
So I always say, "Where are you from originally?"
That always greases the wheels. I've never had a bad reaction to it.
So using the specific wording will help get the conversation going.
Remember, the key here is curiosity. Learn about her so you can make a connection.
Ask her out to something simple, like coffee.
If you're in Asia right now, you may be intimidated by the language gap, but it's nothing to worry about.
And if you do speak the language, then that's even easier. It'll be the same as approaching anyone in your native tongue as well.
But if it's not your native tongue, then do this instead.
When you walk up to her, first get her attention with "Excuse me?", preferably in her language, and then ask, "Do you speak English?"
You don't have to ask whether she speaks English in their language, but that would be good if you could. But you can say it in English too.
And a lot of people are going to understand that, especially in a lot of Asian countries where many people do speak some English, but that's a great way to start, and here's why.
As soon as you ask if they speak English, they'll assume you need some help.
And so, even if they don't speak very much English, they'll still stick around, and that'll give you a chance to get into a conversation.
So if she says, yes, she does speak English, or she says no, she doesn't speak very much, then you'll go ahead anyway and just start explaining exactly why you're there. Now, you're going to be direct.
Obviously, adjust your language, adjust how fast you're speaking and the words you're using, depending on her English level?
If she speaks good English, then speak normally. If her English isn't very good, then speak slower and follow all the steps mentioned earlier for non-native English-speaking women.
By being direct, you just let her know that you saw her, thought she was really cute or she had a great sense of style, or she looks fantastic. Use whatever words you want.
Use simple compliments, just to make sure she understands. That's the key here.
Keep your eyes on hers. Keep a bit of a smile on your face, but don't look like Mickey Mouse because that's overdoing it.
Just ask her for a coffee, the same way you would with any other woman.
Now, why does this work? It's because you're getting her attention and she thinks you need her help.
So she’ll stop and listen to you, paying attention because she wants to help you.
And then, of course, you're not going to play a game here and pretend you need directions.
Instead, you're going to go direct, but it just allows you to start the conversation.
This opener works very well in Asia, and it can work in other countries as well, and it'll give you enough time to get your message across.
So, to summarize:
For full details on how to approach women, read my How to Approach Women Ultimate Guide now.
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