How Do You Approach a Woman Without Compliments? (Try This)

How do you approach a woman without compliments? It's easy, but you have to learn how to be observant.

You're about to learn how to approach women with observational openers.

This article will also cover question openers, which are easy to use for many scenarios.

In this article, you'll learn:

  • Why compliment openers are not always appropriate
  • How to use the question opener
  • How to use the observational opener
  • How to bridge the conversation to something more personal

Let's jump right in.

Why Compliment Openers are Not Always Appropriate

Why is using compliments not always a good idea?

There are many situations where you could open a conversation with women. If you only use compliments, you only have one tool in your conversation toolbox, and you'll be very limited in how you can start your conversation.

Compliments makes sense in situations where it doesn't make sense to start talking about the weather, for example.

You can't just walk across the street directly over to a woman and say "Holy crap, look at this rain", right?

That's where a compliment opener works really well. You're going to go direct.

But in what kind of situations do you open a conversation without compliments?

Well, here are the scenarios that are best to avoid using compliments.

And that's usually an indoor location. It could be in an office, it can be in a grocery store, in a coffee shop, and many others.

In these situations, if you use a compliment opener on a woman, you will attract attention. That puts pressure on her, making it more challenging to get a good outcome out of the scenario.

And also, of course, it'll put pressure on yourself. That's good sometimes (for growth purposes), but it's not what's necessary for this situation

So what should you do instead? Here's how to approach a woman without using a compliment:

The Question Opener

Asking questions is an effortless way to open a conversation. Pay attention to the scenario you're in to match your questions appropriately.

If she's looking at a bag of chips, it can be as simple as asking her if she's tried them before or if she recommends them.

If you're in a coffee shop and she's eating a Tiramisu cake, it can be as simple as asking her if it's as good as it looks.

You get the idea, right?

These examples may not sound great, but you don't need a great question to open a conversation. You just need to match your question to your situation.

Usually, guys get too much in their heads, end up not saying anything, and miss the opportunity with a woman.

You don't need to think about a great opener. Just open up and just ask something. As long as it's relevant, it's going to work well.

The Observational Opener

This is when you observe the environment you share with the girl you want to talk to.

Like with the question opener, keep the topic relevant and ensure it's not about you.

It should be relevant to both of you. It should be something you're both experiencing or something about her.

She doesn't care about your opinion or personal experiences until she gets to know you.

For example, if a woman is looking at cans of soup, going back and forth between different products, you can just say:

"Hard to make a choice with so many options, huh?"

Or, if in a loud coffee shop, you just observe: "Hey, it's deafening in here. It sounds like a bar".

Remember, you don't have to say something witty or funny. It's all about how confidently you say it, the body language you're projecting, and when you say it.

And that can be enough to spark a conversation, which leads to a date for you.

Now, that leads us to the obvious next question. How do you get a date from these observations or these questions?

You won't be talking about chips and making a deep connection from that. She's not going to want to go out with you when you're talking about the nuances of banana flavor.

This part will take a lot more practice, but you want to look for a bridge for starters.

The Bridge

Look for something she says or does that would make your conversation more personal.

Going back to the can of soup example, if she says, "Oh yeah, I gotta go get something good. My mom's coming in from out of town."

That's your bridge. Now that she mentioned her mom's from out of town, you can ask if she's from there too.

If she is, you can ask what brought her over here, and so on. You bridge from the topic you started with to the topic of her life. That way, you can get to know her and make a connection.

And it’s when you have this connection with her that you can ask her out. She’ll like you and trust you enough to say “Yes.”

Otherwise, if you ask her out after talking about soup, it'll be really out of left field.

It's going to sound kind of unusual. Even if you had a good conversation about soup, you're probably going to go fall flat there.

So once you start the conversation, look for openings to bridge the topic and talk about her life. That’s the only way she’ll feel interested enough to go out with you later.

Approach Women Without Using Compliments

Question and observation openers work much better than compliments when approaching women in crowded indoor places.


  • Use a question or observation opener to start a conversation
  • Find a bridge to make the conversation more personal
  • Then get her number or ask her out

To learn more about how to approach women and turn your conversations with women into dates, check out my How to Approach Women Ultimate Guide.

If you have any questions or comments, leave them below.

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