So, there's a beautiful girl at work and you have a huge crush on her and now you're asking yourself the question: how do I start a conversation with a girl at work?
Then keep reading. In this post, you'll learn:
And a lot more. Let's get started:
This is gonna be very short and straightforward and the answer is as simple as asking her out.
Obviously most men miss the mark here because they over complicate and overthink it and wonder if they need a sign and all that kind of stuff.
You don't need a sign, you don't need any of that other stuff.
I will go over the steps here, however, to give you a little bit of instruction on how to approach the woman at your work that you're interested in and ask her out.
Keep in mind that context matters so it's going to change depending on your workplace and the situation.
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It could be an office, it may not be an office. I'm going to just use the office scenario.
But it could just as easily be on a construction site or any other kind of work site. Although construction sites don't typically have a lot of women, but maybe on yours there is.
Don't stare and don't make a winky face or anything kind of weird, but just make some casual eye contact.
You know, glance over to her every once in a while, not too obvious, not too often.
You don't want to make an uncomfortable situation in the workplace, but you want to establish some kind of contact with her eye to eye.
This is going to depend on the context, but you can comment or ask a question on almost anything.
If she's doing something, you can ask her about that. If you're in a certain scenario, just make a comment.
It could be as simple as making a comment about the weather. The point is to start talking to her.
You don't have to have something exciting to say. Make contact with her first, obviously, and it'll be a lot easier to ask her out.
If you've already established contact, you don't have to worry about this. We'll get to the next steps here which will help you.
Learn what motivates her, what is she all about, what is she interested in?
Are you in a workplace where this is kind of a career thing?
Meaning that all of you studied for a long time or how to do long hours and make it into this space, then obviously that's going to be something that requires some thought on her part.
She probably has some goals and motivations. Or you might be in a workplace where it's just basically a job, you're paying your bills right now.
You might be a student and you're working in a coffee shop, that kind of thing. Even if that's the case, well what is she studying and why is she studying that?
Find out what motivates her, learn about her, get her to open up and share about herself and that's going to help you make a connection.
Obviously you're interested in her, showing interest is fine, but you don't be overly interested. Don't show up everywhere she shows up.
Don't be hanging around her cubicle all the time or passing by and staring or doing anything like that.
Be a lot more casual. You don't want to be the office stalker. Take kind of a chill approach to this whole thing.
Don't put all your eggs in one basket and invest all your heart and mind into this one girl because there's lots of other girls you can meet out there too.
This kind of behavior of hanging around too much or showing up all the time where she is is going to create awkwardness and show neediness.
You're just too interested. You have nothing else going on. That's usually the kind of thing that communicates, on top of other possible negative communications.
You could skip all these other steps I just mentioned here and depending on your situation, you're going to adjust for the context.
But you're going to have to approach her and get to the point.
Ask her out and say, "Hey, we should have a coffee sometime or let's have a drink".
Nothing's going to happen if you don't ask her out. So, don't wait for signs or to see if she likes you or not.
Also, don't try to find out through office gossip. Just go ask her out. Be very casual about it.
Bonus step, but if you're in a workspace which has social gatherings or has parties or anything like that, that's a great opportunity to go to those.
If you know she's going to be there, that would be a great opportunity to do all of the above that I just talked about to go approach her.
Start a conversation, ask about her, learn about her, and also ask her out to go out one on one.
Before you go after your crush at work, it's important to understand how this could backfire:
Dating a woman at work is a distraction.
If this is an important job, or you're building your career, then it's not something you want to be distracted from. You want to do quality work.
Maybe if you're serving coffee, it's not as important. But if it's your career, then it is important.
If it goes south, it could A, end your career.
In a worst case scenario, it could potentially end your career if she goes and talks to HR or whatever it is in your situation, as well as creating a bad reputation.
And B, it can create a very awkward situation, some tension in the office. That's also a negative and goes back to the first one, which is a distraction.
Going after women at your work just basically means you don't have other options outside of work.
Because she's the low hanging fruit, she's the easiest one to go have a conversation with.
She's in your space, your office environment. You probably see her every day.
That makes it appear "very easy" because it's a woman you have access to, you can talk to her more easily than other situations.
Obviously, being stuck in a situation where you can only meet this one woman at work is a big negative.
But, there are other options. So, what are the options for meeting women outside of the workplace?
The main option for meeting women outside of the workplace is just learning how to approach. Learn how to become a good conversationalist so you can start conversations everywhere you go in public.
This way, when you're walking down the street or you're shopping, or you're getting a coffee, or even dealing with a waitress who's really cute, you can ask her out. You can ask any woman you run into.
And this won't have all the negative or potentially negative impacts it could have on your work. There's not going to be any awkwardness.
Like hey, if your approach doesn't go well, there's no consequences.
But if you're asking women out of work and it doesn't go well, there are some major consequences as well as some not so major consequences, but it just creates an awkward situation.
None of that is going to happen in public if you learn how to meet women outside of the workplace.
And how exactly do you approach a woman in public?
Well, check this post to learn more.
Here are the 5 steps you should follow to start conversations successfully:
You also need to remember the 3 reasons why you probably shouldn't approach women at work:
And if you have any questions, leave a comment in the comment below.
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Hi, I'm Eddy Baller, author & founder of Conquer & Win.
I've been a dating and relationship coach since 2011, and since then I have helped men across the globe to build their social confidence and get the dates and relationships they deserve. Get your FREE dating consultation now by clicking the button below.