This is why you should get a dating coach instead of a matchmaker in Vancouver.
Also see: Why Being The Asshole, the Nice Guy, and Being Yourself Never Seem to Work, and click here for coaching options.
Guys usually want a matchmaker for one of the following reasons:
But what you actually get is this:
In the end, you are no better off than you started because you won’t have any new social or dating skills, and will be dependent on the matchmaker to find you someone else once your first match fizzles.
As a man working in a professional field, you know how valuable investing time and money into upgrading your skills can be. If you want more money at a better job the logical thing to do is upgrade your own skills and qualifications.
Simple equation, right? Then why isn’t this philosophy being applied to your dating life too?
With a matchmaker, you won’t increase your interpersonal skills, confidence, and will receive no improvement in any other area of your life.
On top of that, when your friends ask how you met your girlfriend, you could say “A matchmaker picked her out…” or “I was so attracted to her, I knew she was the one I was looking for, so I approached her and asked her on a date.”
You’re a proud man, and her friends will swoon as she tells the story of how you had the balls (that most men lack) to approach her and ask her out.
This is why coaching makes sense. The time and money you INVEST into your love life will pay off for the rest of your life in terms of the quality of the relationships you get into, your ability to be independent and find your own dates, and your own confidence, pride, and social skills which can apply to your career or business too.
When we make a purchase we can do one of two things:
When we buy expendable products or services the value is lost almost as quickly as we consume it. Years later it will only be a memory, and will no longer serve us like it did at the time of purchase.
It get’s all used up, and we have to buy it again in order to get any benefit.
When we invest in something like education, however, the value never goes away. Whatever skills you develop through training and hard work will last a lifetime.
If you take Spanish lessons, other than some upkeep, you will be able to use this skill for a lifetime.
If you want more money in your career then taking a course which upgrades your skill level will pay off for years to come.
My father followed this process in his own career and continually upgraded through courses being offered at his work. He ended up being one of only five engineers in Canada qualified to work on a very specific aspect of naval submarine sonar.
The increase in pay and benefits came along with his increase in skills, too.
So how does this apply to dating and relationships?
You can do one of three things when looking for the love of your life:
Like a lot of other expendable services, matchmakers provide a quick fix, but they leave you dependent on their services every single time you want to meet someone new.
When you avoid making the effort yourself, there is no payoff in new dating skills, confidence, communication skills, or the freedom of choice.
On the other hand, if you invest into training which not only helps you meet a TON of new, high-quality women but also leaves you with new abilities and confidence, you will never have to rely on someone else to get you a date again.
Or as Darren DJfuji put it:
“One of the habits I picked up early on was the idea of investing in human capital, specifically, my own. That is, I realized the return on investment (ROI) to invest in personal skills and personal development was massive because, usually, these skills could be used for several years afterward; unlike things such as furniture, cars and electronics.”
In order to have a long-lasting relationship, it’s important to understand what women are attracted to.
Many relationships fade because the men become passive, submissive, and lose their “take charge” dimension as a man; the same take charge dimension that their partners were attracted to in the first place.
A lot of the time this happens because we become comfortable and start allowing our girlfriends and wives to take over the main responsibilities in the relationship.
Confident, assertive women will take advantage of this, and at first it may even seem liberating, but in the end, they become resentful that their men have taken the feminine role and lost their masculine edge.
What all of this has to do with matchmaking is that anyone who takes on a matchmaker is effectively giving away the assertive, confident, in charge nature that women find attractive, right from the beginning.
If you believe in starting off on the right foot then this is the wrong step to take.
It’s also a band aid type of solution to a larger challenge: the ability to meet and attract a high-quality woman, as a man.
This can mean only one thing; that there is a “gap” in the skills, confidence, or know how to meet the right kind of woman independently, without the necessity of someone to make an introduction.
That gap in confidence and assertiveness is where attraction lays for women.
when a man is lacking confidence, traits such as intelligence, good looks, or talent are more or less nullified. It’s like a well-endowed man who has no idea how to use his unusually large “gift.” If you remember only one thing from reading this piece, let it be this: confidence is of paramount importance.
With a dating coach, you will learn how you can get a date anytime, anywhere, and literally in as little time as it takes to go on a coffee break. From your office to the coffee shop and back, and you can meet women without wasting time out of your busy schedule.
This will take the power out of a matchmakers hands and put it back into your own hands so that you can control your own destiny.
There’s a right way and a wrong way to introduce yourself to women in public, and with dating skills training you can learn how to express your charming personality with a woman you just met, confidently.
Most guys are worried about coming off as “creepy” but with a proven blueprint for meeting women, social skills, and learning how to read a woman’s body language, you will never be “that guy”.
Some benefits of a dating coach:
If you’ve ever had the desire to start a conversation with a beautiful woman walking down the street, but didn’t know what to say or do, you’re not alone.
I’ve experienced this myself, countless times, and it is extremely frustrating.
The plus side to not having the know how to approach is that you can make an upgrade in your social skills which will affect far more than just your love life.
Here is a list of the top reasons you should learn to introduce yourself to women.
Learn the skills and the confidence to make it happen, as well as much more by learning self dependence in your love life with the guidance of a highly experienced coach.
You could just start approaching women on the streets, but it can be an intimidating task, and there’s a right way to do it so it doesn’t backfire on you… So if you’re interested in learning how to approach women in a confident manner, contact me for a consultation.
I'm the founder of Conquer & Win, and since 2011 I've been helping guys get into great relationships, build their core values as men, and become confident. I'm published on Lifehack, Order of Man, POF, Psychcentral and many more. I want to help you become a better man and live to your full potential. Feel free to contact me here.
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