Conquer & Win

Why You Should Get A Dating Coach Instead Of A Matchmaker In Vancouver

Dating coach vs. Matchmaker

This is why you should get a dating coach instead of a matchmaker in Vancouver. 

Also see:  Why Being The Asshole, the Nice Guy, and Being Yourself Never Seem to Work, and click here for coaching options. 


Guys usually want a matchmaker for one of the following reasons:

  1. You can avoid wasting time while your matchmaker looks for the girlfriend of your dreams
  2. You don’t have to go to bars or clubs
  3. No online dating
  4. You’re busy working long days and don’t have time for dating
  5. You’re nervous about introducing yourself to a woman in public (street, grocery store, cafe)

But what you actually get is this:

  1. Matchmakers profile based on a cookie cutter format they got from a marketer, which they call “personalized”
  2. A limited number of dates
  3. You’re dependent on the matchmaker to get you more dates if your matches don’t work out
  4. You have to go on dates and spend time seeing different women that someone else selected for you
  5. No pride knowing that someone else had to introduce you to a woman

In the end, you are no better off than you started because you won’t have any new social or dating skills, and will be dependent on the matchmaker to find you someone else once your first match fizzles.


Why You Should Invest In Yourself Instead of Investing in a Matchmaker’s Bank Account

As a man working in a professional field, you know how valuable investing time and money into upgrading your skills can be. If you want more money at a better job the logical thing to do is upgrade your own skills and qualifications.

Simple equation, right? Then why isn’t this philosophy being applied to your dating life too?

With a matchmaker, you won’t increase your interpersonal skills, confidence, and will receive no improvement in any other area of your life.

On top of that, when your friends ask how you met your girlfriend, you could say “A matchmaker picked her out…” or “I was so attracted to her, I knew she was the one I was looking for, so I approached her and asked her on a date.” 

You’re a proud man, and her friends will swoon as she tells the story of how you had the balls (that most men lack) to approach her and ask her out.

This is every women’s fantasy, make it her reality. 

This is why coaching makes sense. The time and money you INVEST into your love life will pay off for the rest of your life in terms of the quality of the relationships you get into, your ability to be independent and find your own dates, and your own confidence, pride, and social skills which can apply to your career or business too.

When we make a purchase we can do one of two things:

  1. Pay for something which depreciates in value (Car, stereo, vacation, massage)
  2. Invest into something which holds value or increases in value over time (Property, stocks, skill development, education)

When we buy expendable products or services the value is lost almost as quickly as we consume it. Years later it will only be a memory, and will no longer serve us like it did at the time of purchase.

It get’s all used up, and we have to buy it again in order to get any benefit.

When we invest in something like education, however, the value never goes away. Whatever skills you develop through training and hard work will last a lifetime.

If you take Spanish lessons, other than some upkeep, you will be able to use this skill for a lifetime.

If you want more money in your career then taking a course which upgrades your skill level will pay off for years to come.

My father followed this process in his own career and continually upgraded through courses being offered at his work. He ended up being one of only five engineers in Canada qualified to work on a very specific aspect of naval submarine sonar.

The increase in pay and benefits came along with his increase in skills, too.

So how does this apply to dating and relationships?

You can do one of three things when looking for the love of your life:

  1. Contact a matchmaker (expendable service).
  2. Sit around and hope for a woman to fall out of the sky.
  3. Invest in yourself by learning what women are attracted to, and how to approach them on your own to get dates and relationships, with the guidance of a coach.

Like a lot of other expendable services, matchmakers provide a quick fix, but they leave you dependent on their services every single time you want to meet someone new.

When you avoid making the effort yourself, there is no payoff in new dating skills, confidence, communication skills, or the freedom of choice.

On the other hand, if you invest into training which not only helps you meet a TON of new, high-quality women but also leaves you with new abilities and confidence, you will never have to rely on someone else to get you a date again.

Or as Darren DJfuji put it:

“One of the habits I picked up early on was the idea of investing in human capital, specifically, my own. That is, I realized the return on investment (ROI) to invest in personal skills and personal development was massive because, usually, these skills could be used for several years afterward; unlike things such as furniture, cars and electronics.”


Why Introductions Are a Turn Off for Women

In order to have a long-lasting relationship, it’s important to understand what women are attracted to.

Many relationships fade because the men become passive, submissive, and lose their “take charge” dimension as a man; the same take charge dimension that their partners were attracted to in the first place.

A lot of the time this happens because we become comfortable and start allowing our girlfriends and wives to take over the main responsibilities in the relationship.

Confident, assertive women will take advantage of this, and at first it may even seem liberating, but in the end, they become resentful that their men have taken the feminine role and lost their masculine edge.

What all of this has to do with matchmaking is that anyone who takes on a matchmaker is effectively giving away the assertive, confident, in charge nature that women find attractive, right from the beginning.

If you believe in starting off on the right foot then this is the wrong step to take. 

It’s also a band aid type of solution to a larger challenge: the ability to meet and attract a high-quality woman, as a man.

This can mean only one thing; that there is a “gap” in the skills, confidence, or know how to meet the right kind of woman independently, without the necessity of someone to make an introduction.

That gap in confidence and assertiveness is where attraction lays for women. 

Ethan Fixell, on AskMen, listed confidence as the #1 quality that women look for, and with good reason.

when a man is lacking confidence, traits such as intelligence, good looks, or talent are more or less nullified. It’s like a well-endowed man who has no idea how to use his unusually large “gift.” If you remember only one thing from reading this piece, let it be this: confidence is of paramount importance.


What a Dating Coach Can Do For You

With a dating coach, you will learn how you can get a date anytime, anywhere, and literally in as little time as it takes to go on a coffee break. From your office to the coffee shop and back, and you can meet women without wasting time out of your busy schedule.

The difference between a dating coach and a matchmaker is that you will learn how to be your own matchmaker, and meet and attract high quality women anywhere.

This will take the power out of a matchmakers hands and put it back into your own hands so that you can control your own destiny.

There’s a right way and a wrong way to introduce yourself to women in public, and with dating skills training you can learn how to express your charming personality with a woman you just met, confidently.

Most guys are worried about coming off as “creepy” but with a proven blueprint for meeting women, social skills, and learning how to read a woman’s body language, you will never be “that guy”.

Some benefits of a dating coach:

  1. Accountability – You will always follow through and stay on track with the support you will receive. Having someone in your corner means the kind of leverage you can’t get on your own.
  2. Guidance – Guidance at every step of the process ensures that you’re never stuck again wondering “What do I say?” when you see an attractive woman you want to meet.
  3. A Plan –  A professionally crafted plan is important to know where you’re going, and to help get you there quicker.
  4. Technical Know How – Every question for every dating scenario will be handled so that you can have amazing dates with amazing women.
  5. In Person Coaching – You will receive direct feedback from your coach so you can make improvements immediately. Not only that, but your coach will act as your “wingman”, and you will see direct demonstrations so that you not only get personal instructions, but you can see your coach do everything you’re learning in action.
  6. Meet Women Now – The best thing about coaching is that you will meet real women and have fun while learning confidence and social skills which will last a lifetime. Instead of waiting for an introduction you will talk to real women right from the get-go.


Top 11 Reasons You Should Approach Women

If you’ve ever had the desire to start a conversation with a beautiful woman walking down the street, but didn’t know what to say or do, you’re not alone.

I’ve experienced this myself, countless times, and it is extremely frustrating.

The plus side to not having the know how to approach is that you can make an upgrade in your social skills which will affect far more than just your love life. 

Here is a list of the top reasons you should learn to introduce yourself to women. 

  1. Independence – Instead of waiting for a phone call from a stranger to hook you up, you can go out and make it happen.
  2. Choice – You can decide what you like at any moment instead of being committed to what you wrote on a list.
  3. Respect – Self respect, and the respect of the women you date for doing it yourself.
  4. Attraction – Women love a man who takes matters into his own hands and knows how to make an introduction.
  5. Personal Development – The act of stepping outside of your comfort zone and talking to complete strangers will build some real confidence and social skills.
  6. Unlimited Options – You can meet as many women as you want without having to pay more money to do so.
  7. Pride – Just like building something on your own, you can take pride knowing that your results come from your own efforts.
  8. Admiration From Friends – You can show off your new skills and make your friends envious.
  9. Control – You decide who, where and when.
  10. Adventure – Every time you talk to a new woman ANYTHING can happen, and the experiences you gain will last a lifetime.
  11. A Girlfriend or Wife – You’re doing this because you want a committed long term relationship, and that’s exactly what you will find by creating dating opportunities other guys could only dream of.

Learn the skills and the confidence to make it happen, as well as much more by learning self dependence in your love life with the guidance of a highly experienced coach.

You could just start approaching women on the streets, but it can be an intimidating task, and there’s a right way to do it so it doesn’t backfire on you… So if you’re interested in learning how to approach women in a confident manner, contact me for a consultation.  


About the Author Eddy Baller

I'm the founder of Conquer & Win, and since 2011 I've been helping guys get into great relationships, build their core values as men, and become confident. I'm published on Lifehack, Order of Man, POF and many more. I want to help you get socially confident and live to your full potential. Feel free to contact me here.

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