Can you fall in love on a first date?
You may have had a first date where everything just clicked and seemed right, easy and fun. Or, you're really attracted to her, and it felt like you were falling in love.
While it's certainly possible to make a strong connection on a first date, chances are your balls are tricking you into thinking that you're falling in love.
In this post, you'll learn:
And so much more. Let's jump into it.
Let's start with what's really going on when you feel like you're falling in love with a date, or falling in love at first sight.
When you're attracted to someone, your blood releases a flood of dopamine which is associated with pleasure. This is why you're obviously going to connect her with your pleasure.
This instant chemistry is basically sexual attraction, not much else. Falling in love is a process which takes weeks, months or even years sometimes.
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That process involves getting to know that person and finding out how they react to different situations, if they're actually loyal to you or not. And of course, lust is involved with this too...
Think about it. On a first date, you're literally dealing with a stranger. You don't know her at all, and it doesn't matter what she tells you about her life, you still don't know her.
All you have to go on is her smile and good looks and what she tells you about herself.
We're biased towards really liking attractive women, and that can cause problems for us sometimes, so falling in love on a first date is sort of like falling in love with an Instagram picture.
You're only missing the conversation in that case, but you don't know that girl in that Instagram picture either.
It may sound stupid to compare falling in love with an Instagram picture, but I've had guys tell me they thought they were falling in love with an Instagram model who they never had talked to and they never had met.
To fall in love on a first date, we're talking about winning the lottery here. And sure, it does happen.
We do all hear those stories of someone falling in love on a first date and they get married and they stay together their entire lives. But this is not the reality for the vast majority of people.
When people are super quick to "fall in love", it'll often lead them to making great mistakes, like moving in with somebody you don't really know, or even ignoring red flags of somebody who may actually be very toxic.
None of this means you can't have a lot of fun with somebody on a first date and get into them. It may actually be a great sign because hey, who doesn't want some passion and to really want somebody?
However, don't make your plans after your first date. Get to know her first and see if she's really what she seems beyond her good looks.
Here are some tips to deal with "falling in love" on a first date:
Realize that it's just lust.
If she's really hot and you like her a lot, that's great. Even her personality can be awesome, but it's just lust and an initial impression.
To avoid making any mistakes, slow down. Don't make any big decisions right up front.
This is more likely to come up over time after having some more dates or dating for weeks, or months even.
Don't allow your lust and your emotions to get the best of you and cause you to ignore red flags, which may be leading you to a disaster relationship.
Hey, it's a date. And if it doesn’t work out, you'll find another girl.
FAQ's
Now, here are some common questions about falling in love on the first date:
There isn't a direct answer to how soon is too soon to fall in love, because this is going to be different for everybody. It's going to be different for different relationships.
Just pay attention to your emotions and make sure this is something that's good for the long run and not the short run.
Falling in love fast can be a red flag. Very often, people fall in love fast or burn the candle at both ends.
Relationships can be very passionate and intense, but they can also be full of drama and trauma. And doing this is very often the sign of someone who's needy and jumps into things way too fast.
There's no set timeframe for getting into a relationship. That's going to be a personal decision.
It's going to depend on the person you're dating, as well as yourself: what do you want?
But generally speaking, going a little bit slower is a good idea in the beginning of a relationship while you're getting to know somebody, before you get too attached.
To learn more about first dates, check out this post.
Falling in love is a process which takes weeks, months or even years sometimes. Sure, sometimes people get lucky and they fall madly in love on the first date, but it’s not reality for the average person.
Very often this “instant chemistry” is just sexual attraction and not much else. And you can learn how to deal with it in 4 simple steps:
If you’ve got any comments or questions, leave them below.
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Hi, I'm Eddy Baller, author & founder of Conquer & Win.
I've been a dating and relationship coach since 2011, and since then I have helped men across the globe to build their social confidence and get the dates and relationships they deserve. Get your FREE dating consultation now by clicking the button below.