Is your love life a dating wasteland? And now you're asking yourself, am I too ugly to date?
There are a lot of different reasons why a guy might have trouble in his dating life.
Appearance definitely does have an effect, but let's look at some of the other reasons why you might be having some troubles in your dating life, including possibly being too ugly.
In this post, you'll learn:
And so much more. Let's jump into it.
Here are some reasons you may not be getting dates, besides being ugly. Most of the items on this list are related, and there may be a lot of crossover:
Social skills are the way we connect with other people. It's the way you talk to them, the way you look at them.
It's the way you use your voice, your body language, how you relate to them, how you get them to open up about themselves, how you open up about yourselves, how vulnerable you are.
A whole bunch of different things go into social skills.
If your social skills are not up to par, that's going to have a major effect in your dating life as well as friendships and other relationships.
I asked a client one time to just go get a glass of water from a couple of cute baristas at this coffee shop.
When he did, his voice was quiet, and this was in a very loud cafe.
He was looking down, not making strong eye contact and no smile, of course. No enthusiasm at all.
The girls basically mirrored his approach. They mirrored the way he was asking, which is why his results in the situation were pretty obvious.
It was obvious why the girls were not giving him a smile or anything else positive because he wasn't giving it to them first.
I went up there right after and I did the opposite of him. I smiled, I spoke with a loud voice, I had enthusiasm, and I tried chatting with these girls.
And in turn, they giggled, they smiled, they made strong eye contact. Everything was completely different. It was just the way I talked to them.
If you feel ugly or you feel down in any other way, you're probably not going to have a lot of experience talking to girls.
I know a lot of guys will discount other factors in dating and they go straight to looks and all about the looks.
But if you don't have very much experience, how could you know how to maneuver in the dating world? How could you know how to talk to girls if you're not talking to a lot of them and trying to date a lot of them?
In order to get more experience, you need to meet more women naturally. This relates to social skills, obviously, because it's going to build your social skills the more you talk to people, the more you talk to girls.
You're going to learn how to talk to them properly in a way that makes a connection and allows you to get more dates.
Confidence basically equals competence. It's not the only factor.
Competence is a major factor in confidence.
If you know how to do something, you're not going to worry about how to do it because you know how to do it and you're just going to go and do it.
You're going to get effective results because of the fact that you know how to do it.
Confidence is very attractive to women. If you can have confidence, they will react positively to you.
And of course, you're not going to get that without the experience. You're not going to get the social skills without the experience either.
So this is all chain. And no, talking to a few girls or a handful of girls doesn't count. That's very little experience.
What does count is the process of learning how to approach women, because it pushes you to get out of your comfort zone and try to get as many dates as you want. The more you do it, the better you’ll get.
Another very important thing is building your social confidence. This can be achieved through many methods, but the best one is to get one-on-one coaching to explore what’s best for you from an expert’s perspective.
Learn more here.
This pleasing behavior, this passive kind of behavior is very unattractive to women.
If you're trying to please everyone, you're probably going to please no one, right?
Basically, you're not going to act like a man, you're not going to be assertive, and you're not going to look out for your own interest first.
You might even put on an act, which is also very unattractive to women.
If you're the guy who puts together her furniture, drives her around, buys her dinners, and then she tells you what a great friend you are, the results should be obvious.
When you're acting like a servant, when you're not acting like a man and going after what you want, it's very unlikely she's going to have a dating attraction for you.
Far too often, I find that guys will hang around for a long time with a girl and do these kinds of things.
In fact, I've done it too. It really sucks because you end up in no woman's land because you're not going to get any dates that way.
You're not going to get a girl attracted to you by acting like her servant.
So, those are some non-looks related things that may be affecting your dating life. But, let's jump into the looks part two, because it does matter.
If you have all of the above bases covered and you're really good at all those above factors, then you might be too ugly to date. It's not just about appearance.
Being ugly is about feeling ugly. If you feel ugly, like, "I'm really an attractive guy", that's not going to give you a lot of confidence, is it?
So it probably means number three is out. Actually, it probably means almost the entire list is out.
If everything is based on your looks, you're not going to have confidence.
You're not going to go and try to get the experience, so you're not going to develop the social skills.
And everything is going to kind of fall apart. So, you gotta really deal with the looks first and then move on from there.
Or maybe you're just not keeping up your appearance the way you could.
You could actually be a lot more attractive with your current genetics and the way you are right now without getting plastic surgery or anything crazy.
With some exceptions, you can change your looks dramatically without doing anything particularly dramatic.
If you have a crooked nose, then yeah that's not going to change because you change your clothes.
However, you're still going to be more attractive and you're going to be more attractive if you get fitter.
That's going to be affected by the way you eat and your exercise.
Keep in mind, you don't have to look perfect. Nobody looks perfect.
Very few guys are so attractive that women are just throwing themselves at them.
Most of us, even a guy who might be considered attractive, still has to work for it, still has to do stuff, still has to go talk to girls and build up their confidence and learn how to talk to them.
So yes, looks do affect dating, but even more so, is the way you think about your looks. That's going to affect your dating even more.
You could actually kill two birds with one stone and make yourself more attractive physically.
Women will react to that because they see you and they see you being more attractive.
You could also make yourself feel better, which will make yourself more confident, and that's also going to attract women.
There's going to be multiple factors here if you can fix this idea about being ugly.
So if you feel ugly, it's time to upgrade and check out this post on how to get a girlfriend if you're ugly.
The question of whether you’re too ugly to date or not relies on one simple fact: looks do affect dating, but what affects even more is how you think about them.
If you feel ugly, that's going to affect your dating even more. Also, keep in mind that there are others reasons as to why you may not be getting dates, such as:
And if you have any comments or questions, leave them below.
Do you want a "personal trainer" for your love life? Learn more here.